


Friends With Benefits

by seokinthewoodz



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Anal Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Friends With Benefits, Introspection, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Roleplay, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:06:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokinthewoodz/pseuds/seokinthewoodz
Summary: Wooseok and Seungyoun are friends with benefits. They have established simple rules in their relationship: no feelings, no kisses on the lips and no deep conversations. Wooseok is perfectly fine with how things are with Seungyoun and he thinks nothing could go wrong, until a day...
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Kim Yohan/Lee Hangyul
Comments: 29
Kudos: 256





	1. Left on Read

To Wooseok, having Seungyoun as sex friend was easy. He felt especially comfortable during intimate moments with Seungyoun. Seungyoun’s spacious bed with the sheets that smelled of his cologne and Seungyoun’s sporty and expensive BMW were extremely comfortable as well. Wooseok thought that when Seungyoun trapped him down on the bed; the scent of the taller man’s cologne and the warmth of his body pressed against Wooseok’s were wrapping the latter in a bubble that he couldn’t burst even if he wanted to. Hot, inebriating.

Seungyoun was also very attractive during sex, Wooseok had to give him at least that. The way Seungyoun’s black shiny hair would fall over his dark eyes, the way a subtle frown would appear on his face, the way he would look at Wooseok like he was ready to eat him up alive without mercy… all of that sent shivers down Wooseok’s spine. As Seungyoun’s hands started to travel all over Wooseok’s body, lips on his neck and ear, crotches grinding together, Wooseok knew his dick was getting hard, and it was the same for Seungyoun.

Wooseok’s hands immediately started to work to undo all the buttons of Seungyoun’s damn black button-up shirt. He hated those button-ups, but Seungyoun liked to wear them when he wanted to look especially good or for special occasions. And since it was Wooseok’s birthday, one could say that it indeed was a special occasion. To Wooseok it definitely was the most special of them all, since it was the day in which God’s best creation (aka himself) had come to the world.

«Since it’s your birthday,» Seungyoun whispered against Wooseok’s ear later, when their shirts were already out of the way and Wooseok was desperately trying to get rid of Seungyoun’s tight pants as well, «I’m going to grant you a wish. What do you want me to do?»

Wooseok’s eyes sparkled mischievously at those words. «Is this a birthday present?» Wooseok asked, a small smile appearing on his tiny lips. He loved that unexpected turn of events, especially because one of the untold rules in that weird friendship of theirs was to never gift anything to each other. Presents often carried meanings, and they didn’t need that in their relationship.

«I guess you can say that,» Seungyoun answered, finally taking off his own pants and proceeding to do the same with Wooseok’s jeans.

«Mhh, I don’t know if it’s a good enough gift, though…» Wooseok mumbled, making Seungyoun raise his eyes on the other’s face immediately. Seungyoun knew that Wooseok was mercilessly teasing him, and it was obvious that he liked that, a lot. His eyes were shining. «You must do a very good job at obeying me in order for it to be a satisfying present,» Wooseok continued, voice low and raspy, and then their faces were so close that their breaths entangled. They were just a few centimeters away from kissing, but they didn’t. Another one of their rules was not to kiss, not even in bed. Too much intimacy.

«What do you want?» Seungyoun asked again, and Wooseok liked how horny the other sounded.

«There’s something I bought at the sexy shop in Japan that we haven’t tried out yet,» Wooseok revealed, his smile getting wider. Seungyoun’s questioning expression confirmed to Wooseok that he didn’t remember what new sex toys Wooseok had bought that time he’d traveled to Japan. There were many, after all. Especially guns-looking ones. Wooseok was obsessed with guns, especially with the one tattooed on Seungyoun’s waist, although he would never say it out loud.

Wooseok got up from the bed with only his black briefs on, his thin body exposed in all its glory, and started to look for what he wanted in a box hidden inside Seungyoun’s wardrobe. They kept there all their toys, since they almost never had sex at Wooseok’s place (his roommates were always in the way).

«Here it is,» Wooseok said, taking out of the box a leather dog collar with a long chain attached to it. Seungyoun’s eyes grew bigger as Wooseok turned around to look at him, a mischievous smile still on his lips. Seungyoun had completely forgotten about that.

«You know I’ve always wanted a puppy,» Wooseok mumbled, sounding almost innocent, like a little kid expressing the wish to have a dog. Seungyoun opened his mouth to say something, maybe, but then he decided against it. Wooseok appreciated it. Dogs don’t talk, after all.

«Come here,» Wooseok ordered, already getting in the part. Seungyoun sighed, probably mustering up his courage, and then he got on all fours on the floor, crawling towards Wooseok, like a good puppy. Wooseok noticed that Seungyoun’s ears were intensely red when he knelt down in front of Wooseok, his eyes at the same level of the other’s crotch. Wooseok was already painfully hard inside his briefs, and Seungyoun liked his lips at that view, before looking up Wooseok as the latter put the collar around Seungyoun’s neck.

«What kind of puppy am I?» Seungyoun asked with a half amused smile, receiving in return a pat on the head.

«A very well trained puppy who follows his owner’s orders,» Wooseok answered, smiling. «Take them off,» he then added, obviously referring to the briefs that he was still wearing and that he felt definitely too tight. Seungyoun followed the command. He took the elastic band of the briefs between his teeth and pulled them down, letting them slide along Wooseok’s pale long legs. Now Wooseok’s hard dick was free from any restriction and it was demanding attentions.

«Suck it,» Wooseok ordered again in a breath. Seungyoun let out a low growl. From the look on his face, Wooseok was perfectly aware of the fact that Seungyoun wanted to push him on the floor and fuck him rough and dry right there, but he was trying to stay in control. He had promised to be a good and well behaved puppy, after all. So he started out slow and sweet. Baby steps first. His tongue slowly curled around the red tip of Wooseok’s cock, as if it was the first time and he wanted to explore. As if he didn’t know exactly what Wooseok tasted like and what he liked. Wooseok’s breathing increased its speed.

Seungyoun dragged his tongue on the length of Wooseok’s dick, slowly, a few times, playfully. Wooseok knew that the other was teasing him, so he tugged at the collar’s chain, making his lover understand that he had to speed up. Seungyoun then smirked before taking it in his mouth, sucking hard, making Wooseok groan loudly with his raspy voice, eyes closed and parted red lips letting out soft moans.

Bobbing his head back and forth, gradually increasing the speed, Seungyoun was so focused on sucking Wooseok’s dick and keeping his eyes fixed on Wooseok’s ecstatic face, that he probably didn’t expect it at all when Wooseok decided to play dirty. He suddenly tugged at the chain hanging from the dog collar with so much strength that Seungyoun’s face was dragged forward, taking the whole cock length in his mouth, all the way to his throat.

Wooseok started to move fast inside Seungyoun’s mouth, wet noises filled the bedroom as the tip of the penis kept hitting the back of Seungyoun’s throat and Wooseok thought that that sound and Seungyoun’s face in that moment were amazing, almost as amazing as the sensation. After a few seconds Seungyoun put his hands on Wooseok’s thighs, his fingernails leaving red marks on Wooseok’s white skin. Wooseok knew that he was pushing Seungyoun’s gagging reflex to the limit, so he decided let him go after a few more thrusts, and only then Seungyoun could breathe again.

A thick line of spit and pre-cum was connecting Seungyoun’s open mouth gasping for air to Wooseok’s dick. At the view Wooseok felt a bit bad, but not really. They both were enjoying it. They weren’t boyfriends, but they knew each other’s bodies and preferences the best.

Wooseok patted Seungyoun’s head again and with his hoarse voice he complimented the other, «Good puppy.»

Seungyoun was breathing hard, trying calm himself down; his eyes filled with tears were looking up at Wooseok’s face again. Now Wooseok could read in the other’s expression that he definitely wanted to fuck Wooseok so hard and desperately, and Wooseok wanted that, too.

The tinier man walked towards the bed and sat on it. Tugging at the chain, he forced Seungyoun to crawl towards him again until the latter knelt on the floor in front of sitting Wooseok, like an obedient puppy waiting for a reward. Wooseok then spread his own legs, bending the knees towards his chest in order to give Seungyoun better access to his ass. This time Wooseok didn’t have to give out any order, his “puppy” immediately started to lick his entrance, and he shuddered at the overwhelming hot feeling of the wet tongue against his sensitive skin.

«Good puppy,» Wooseok murmured again, getting goose bumps all over his body out of pleasure when Seungyoun started to lose control and to eat him out, almost aggressively, paying attention also to his balls and biting the tender inner flesh of Wooseok’s thighs, hard enough to leave red marks.

Wooseok couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He pulled the chain of the collar with strength once again, stopping Seungyoun from further licking him, and whispered in a broken voice, «Do it.»

Seungyoun knew already what that meant, because he quickly reached out for the drawer of the bedside table, where he kept lube and condoms. Wooseok almost gasped when the cold slippery substance fell all over his ass, and he finally let out the moan he was trying to hold back when Seungyoun’s fingers pushed inside of him without any gentleness or warning. His fingers worked Wooseok open just for a few seconds before pulling out; they both know that Wooseok’s body was used to penetration.

Seungyoun then crawled on the bed, grabbed Wooseok by the legs and dragged his thin beautiful body towards him, _under him_ , with so much easiness and force that Wooseok felt like going crazy. If there was a thing that drove him insane was Seungyoun being so horny for him that he would manhandle him like that, like Wooseok was just a doll in his hands. Wooseok was supposed to be the one in control for that night, but he suddenly didn’t care anymore when Seungyoun finally got rid of the briefs he was still wearing and grabbed his own congested dick, touching himself a bit with the hand still covered in lube.

Wooseok bit his bottom lip, thinking that he had seen Seungyoun completely naked hundreds of times before, and yet every time he still felt amazed by the fact that, _damn_ , Seungyoun really was well proportioned all over. Then Wooseok decided that he wanted to be the one to put the condom on Seungyoun (he just wanted an excuse to touch his dick without being open about it), so he did. Seungyoun just stared down at Wooseok in silence, those dark eyes observing the other attentively, and when the condom was finally in place, Seungyoun spread Wooseok’s legs a little more before pushing inside roughly.

Wooseok almost screamed, especially because Seungyoun started to thrust hard without waiting for him to adjust a bit, but it was okay because Wooseok liked it, and Seungyoun knew that better than anyone else. The rougher, the better. Wooseok didn’t need kisses, he didn’t need caresses. He didn’t need feelings, either. He needed raw fucks and a hot body that could turn him on and provide the service properly. And no one was better than Seungyoun for that. Wooseok had never felt such a great physical compatibility with anyone before Seungyoun.

Wooseok grabbed the sheet under him and almost couldn’t breathe because of the intense pleasure mixed with pain that he was feeling. «Bad puppy…» he let out in a shaky breath, tugging at the collar and making Seungyoun open up in a grin. «Am I not a well trained puppy?» he asked, pushing even hard, to the point that Wooseok feared that the other could break him in half at any moment. Before Wooseok’s brain could even react to that, Seungyoun grabbed him by the arms and switched their positions, so that now Wooseok was on top. Wooseok bit his lips again, looking down at Seungyoun with languid and unfocused eyes, feeling too good to do anything else other than ride Seungyoun’s dick mindlessly.

Wooseok was so lost in the moment and in the extreme pleasure he was feeling with Seungyoun’s big cock hitting his prostate without mercy and those hot hands traveling on his sensitive skin, that for the first time in, maybe, months, he came untouched all over Seungyoun’s stomach with a loud moan and a «Seungyounie.»

Seungyoun let Wooseok calm down for a few seconds, let him come down from his haze, and then he switched positions without pulling out again. He started to thrust again, this time less roughly, close to reach his own climax. Wooseok looked attentively at Seungyoun’s face. He knew well that expression. That soft frown, the closed eyes, the parted shiny red lips. He knew that Seungyoun was about to come. Wooseok kind of wanted to kiss him, but he held himself back. Instead, he reached out his hand, touching with the tips of his fingers the droplets of cum still glistering on Seungyoun’s abs, and he brought those fingers to Seungyoun’s lips. And Seungyoun followed the orders, as always, licking the semen off Wooseok’s fingers, as he finally came with a whimper.

Seungyoun pulled out with a soft groan, breathing heavily. As the taller man got up from the bed to toss the used condom in the trash bin, Wooseok observed him walk around the room completely naked with a proud pouting smile. That night they had great and fun sex, maybe the best they had in a while. He had come untouched and it felt great. Very satisfying. He definitely wanted a second and maybe even third round that night. It was his birthday, after all.

When Seungyoun turned around to look at Wooseok, he had a bright and sweet smile on his lips, as if he hadn’t been fucking Wooseok senseless just a minute before. Wooseok found attractive even that duality in the other. Seungyoun was completely different out of bed.

Wooseok returned the smile and patted the empty space next to himself on the mattress, in a silent request for Seungyoun to sit there, so that they could take off the dog collar the other was still wearing. Wooseok felt almost guilty when he took the collar off and saw that the sensitive skin of Seungyoun’s neck was very red.

«Does it hurt?» Wooseok asked, trying not sound too worried.

«Not really, but at some point I seriously thought you wanted to break my neck or choke me to death,» Seungyoun snorted. «You don’t know how to control your strength.»

Wooseok rolled his eyes at that. «Don’t exaggerate. You were enjoying it, anyway.»

«Fair enough,» Seungyoun admitted, still smiling, not even an ounce of shame in his voice. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, before Seungyoun spoke again, «So, was your birthday present satisfying enough?»

«Yeah. You are a good dog. You even wag your tail when I compliment you,» Wooseok answered, teasing the other, receiving in return a light push and an amused «Yah!»

Seungyoun’s laughter was so contagious, so bright. Wooseok liked when they were like that after sex, just teasing each other and being shamelessly honest about what they liked and wanted. Yeah, Wooseok had no doubt about that: Seungyoun was very easy and comfortable as friend with benefits, he didn’t need anything else.

«What about a late night snack and then another round?» Wooseok asked with a low seductive voice, trying to sound convincing, but all his high expectations for the night shattered in a million pieces when Seungyoun sighed loudly, an apologetic smile on his lips. «I’d love that, Wooseokie, but I’m afraid I have to take you home and call it a night. I’m leaving for Tokyo early in the morning.»

«Oh. Business trip?» Wooseok asked, and he desperately hoped that the extreme disappointment he was feeling in that moment wasn’t too obvious in his voice and expression. Maybe it actually was obvious, though, because Seungyoun only sounded more apologetic as he said, «Yeah. I’m staying there for a week, I have some business meetings and an important photoshoot.»

Seungyoun was a professional photographer for high fashion and magazines. The two of them met a few years ago exactly on a photoshoot set, when Seungyoun was still an apprentice and Wooseok was trying to get some modeling gigs in order to earn some good money and have an easier life as poor college student. They immediately felt attracted to each other, but they decided not to act upon it. Wooseok was in a serious relationship with a rich older dude back then, and Seungyoun was dating someone, too. When they casually met again a few years later in a gay bar in Itaewon, Wooseok was going through some serious heartbroken shit after breaking up with the rich older dude (the dude decided to marry a rich woman as his family wanted), while Seungyoun was just a free spirit, traveling the world and doing whatever he wanted, and his positive energy was so incredibly attractive to Wooseok. They ended up having drunken sex at Seungyoun’s place on that same night, then after that first night many more nights followed, until it naturally became a routine.

Since Wooseok was going through that serious heartbroken shit when Seungyoun appeared in his life again, the last thing he wanted was to start another serious relationship with someone. He didn’t care about casual dating either. He just wanted to enjoy himself, being free and having fun. Luckily, Seungyoun wanted the same things as him and Wooseok couldn’t be more grateful for that, since the sex he had with Seungyoun was probably the best of his life. Kinky, wild, and rough. Perfect combo.

The weird rules in their relationship established themselves naturally, too. No feelings, no kisses on the lips, no too much talking about personal stuff. They were free to see whoever they wanted and have sex whenever they wanted. It wasn’t an exclusive relationship, although Wooseok’s standards got unavoidably very high since he’d started to fuck with Seungyoun, and he couldn’t avoid to make comparisons every time he fooled around with some other men. Seungyoun kind of was on another level.

Lately, though, Seungyoun was often busy and tired because of work and Wooseok was starting to feel neglected. He was kind of annoyed, somehow, for some reason… he couldn’t avoid to feel pissed even on his way home, sitting on the comfortable passenger seat of Seungyoun’s BMW car.

«Are you sulking?» Seungyoun asked him. He was smiling again. He probably found Wooseok’s reaction amusing.

«No,» Wooseok lied. «I was just thinking that I’m going to have a very lonely week. Yohan is going on a trip to Japan as well.»

«Oh, really? For a vacation?»

«Yeah. He’s going to Disneyland with his boyfriend to celebrate their first anniversary,» Wooseok answered, clicking his tongue in disappointment, a grimace appearing on his small face. Why would two grown up men celebrating their first anniversary together at Disneyland? So lame. Then he remembered that both Yohan and Hangyul (Yohan’s boyfriend) shared the same mental age and even watched “Frozen” something like three times in a row when it came out in theatres.

«Whaaa, so much time has passed since the last time I went to Disneyland! Now I feel like going again, it’s so much fun. Them going together for their anniversary is actually cute,» Seungyoun said, sounding enthusiastic as usual and making Wooseok’s mood sink down even further.

«It’s not cute,» Wooseok stated firmly. Seungyoun was right: he was sulking. «These days it’s like Yohan doesn’t even live in my same apartment, he and Hangyul pretty much live in symbiosis. He almost forgot about my birthday, too! Me… Kim Wooseok! His roommate and best friend!»

«But then he remembered, right? And he bought you a nice present, too,» Seungyoun reminded the other, eyeing the new expensive wrist watch Wooseok was wearing (Yohan’s gift). «He’s just in love,» Seungyoun then added in a much more serious tone, but Wooseok didn’t even notice it. He was too busy crying over himself.

«That’s why I don’t want to date anyone seriously. You end up losing your independence and focus, you start to neglect even your own very best friend. You become a fool and a loser,» Wooseok continued and he actually saw himself in those words, too. When Wooseok and the rich older dude were together, he used to be like that as well. Completely dependent on the other man, his whole world revolving around him. Wooseok didn’t want to go back to that phase of his life and end up hurting himself ever again.

«Right,» Seungyoun just said, flatly, and after that a long silence fell over them. They didn’t speak until Seungyoun stopped the car in front of Wooseok’s condo.

«Well, thanks for the ride and for… the birthday present,» Wooseok teased, a sly and malicious smile blooming on his red lips, matching Seungyoun’s wide and amused grin as the latter answered, «It’s a pleasure.»

«See you when you come back to Seoul, then,» Wooseok said, ready to open to car door and get out, when Seungyoun’s voice suddenly stopped him in his tracks, «Wooseokie, can I kiss you?»

Wooseok looked at Seungyoun with big eyes, surprised. That definitely was an unexpected request, so much that Wooseok couldn’t keep himself back from blurting a rather insensitive «Why?»

Seungyoun shrugged, smiling softly, like it wasn’t a big deal. «Just feeling like it. Because it’s your birthday,» he answered, although Wooseok couldn’t find a rational correlation between kissing and his birthday. But Seungyoun looked handsome in the dim light of the car; he was wearing specs, the ones with the black frame, and the casual outfit he’d thrown on before leaving the apartment suited him. More than that damn button-up shirt. Yeah, Wooseok wanted to kiss Seungyoun.

«I don’t want to,» Wooseok mumbled, obviously lying. «You ate me out and swallowed my cum just a while ago.»

«Eish, don’t be an ass. I washed my teeth afterwards,» Seungyoun laughed briefly, shaking Wooseok’s arm in a scold-like manner. Wooseok sighed, as if kissing Seungyoun was such a big sacrifice to him, and then he just gave in, getting closer to the other, until their lips finally met. It was late but Wooseok still hoped that none of his neighbors was out at that ungodly hour of the night, just in time to see him kissing another man inside a BMW.

They started off kissing slow and sweet, almost innocently. Seungyoun’s mouth tasted like mint. He actually had washed his teeth. His lips were soft, too. The touch of Seungyoun’s tongue sent shivers down Wooseok’s spine. Every worry Wooseok could have about being spotted by his neighbors disappeared immediately once Seungyoun put an arm around Wooseok’s waist and pulled him closer with that roughness that Wooseok loved so much, making their kiss deeper and more passionate. Wooseok sighed in the kiss: damn, he was horny again. He hoped not to get another boner.

When they eventually broke the kiss, they just stared at each other with their faces really close for a while. Seungyoun was smiling softly at Wooseok again. It actually felt weird.

«Is everything okay?» Wooseok asked, cautious.

«Yeah, why?»

«I don’t know,» Wooseok admitted. «Do you have to tell me something?»

«Mmmh…» Seungyoun crunched up his face in a very pensive expression. «I do,» he eventually answered, getting Wooseok’s complete attention.

«What is it?»

«It’s a secret, you don’t have to tell anyone,» Seungyoun warned the other. Wooseok nodded. Seungyoun wasn’t the type to have secrets and they usually didn’t share secrets with each other, either. He was actually curios.

«Actually I…» Seungyoun trailed off. Wooseok was so focused, anticipating the revelation of Seungyoun’s secret, that he didn’t expect it at all when Seungyoun suddenly exclaimed «I’m a vampire!» and playfully bit Wooseok’s neck, making the latter jump out of surprise on the leather seat of the BMW.

«Yah!» Wooseok yelled, punching Seungyoun on the arm. Seungyoun started to laugh brightly, probably thinking that it was peak comedy, and Wooseok couldn’t stay angry at the other when he laughed like that, anyway. He rolled his eyes and tried to hold back a smile as he opened to car door.

«See you soon, Wooseokie! Goodnight!» Seungyoun waved the other goodbye, that big beautiful smile plastered on his handsome face. Getting out of the car, Wooseok thought that, really, he would have missed his dear sex friend _a lot_ over the following week. He was already sexually frustrated.

«Night,» Wooseok waved back, closing the car door. Seungyoun then drove away, leaving Wooseok with the feeling that something was actually off with the other. Seungyoun was actually hiding him something. Wooseok shrugged, thinking that it wasn’t a big deal anyway, and when he turned around he almost got a heart attack: Yohan was watching him from afar with a very shocked expression on his face.

«Yah… am I hallucinating or you and Seungyoun-hyung were kissing inside his car?» Yohan asked as Wooseok started to walk towards him and the entrance of their condo. Damn, he knew that someone would have seen them. From the way Yohan was dressed and the little plastic bag he was holding in his hand, he probably just came back from the mini-market open 24/7 down the street. Yohan was always in the way.

«And so?» Wooseok asked his roommate, confused.

«Didn’t you tell me that you guys never kiss or anything because your relationship is just about sex?»

«He asked for a kiss and since it’s my birthday I felt nice enough to let him do that, why?» Wooseok tried to defend himself, but it was obvious that Yohan didn’t believe him in the slightest.

«Why don’t you just date him, hyung? Seungyoun-hyung is handsome, rich, successful and with a good personality. He’s like the main character of a drama. He knows how to make you happy in bed, too. Isn’t it a win-win situation?»

Wooseok rolled his eyes once again in annoyance. It was almost like they hadn’t had that same exact conversation like… a hundred times already before. «You know I don’t want to have a stable relationship with anyone. Having Seungyounie as friend with benefits is more than enough.»

And it was then… then Yohan said something that put him in a weird mood: «Well, that’s what you feel, but I doubt Seungyoun-hyung is planning to stay single for the rest of his life. What are you going to do once he finds himself a boyfriend and stops seeing you?»

«The world is full of men, I can find someone else,» Wooseok answered, faking indifference, but Yohan had irremediably put a flea into Wooseok’s ear. He couldn’t avoid thinking about Yohan’s words, so much that he kept thinking about it even over the next few days.

Wooseok never thought about it, but Yohan made him realize that it was something that could happen. It was possible that Seungyoun, someday, would tell Wooseok that he was tired of their weird sexual friendship and that he wanted to stop having sex with Wooseok for whatever reason. Wooseok knew that Seungyoun was attracted to him just as much as he was attracted to Seungyoun and they loved each other’s bodies and their wild sex life, Wooseok had no doubt about it and, to be honest, he was kind of proud of it. But Yohan was right. Things could change in the future. He and Seungyoun never talked about future, especially not about a future together. Wooseok didn’t know what future plans Seungyoun had. Actually, it was totally possible that someday Seungyoun would just decide to move overseas for work, since he traveled quite a lot already.

If any of that ever happened, sooner or later, then what would have Wooseok done? Finding a new sex partner for sure. He probably wouldn’t have found another man as capable in bed as Seungyoun, but he could deal with it. He was quite sure he could deal with Seungyoun not being part of his life anymore, too. Not like they were particularly close outside of the bed anyway. Actually, their personalities were so different that sometimes they got on each other’s nerves.

_Still…_

After a long day of work at the architecture firm he worked at, Wooseok felt lifeless. Lying in bed after a shower, he decided to play with his phone for a while and to check his SNS. Once he opened the Instagram app, though, he wished he hadn’t. The first post that appeared on his timeline was a selfie that Yohan had posted a while ago. He and Hangyul were hugging with some Disneyland attraction in the background. They were smiling happily and were wearing matching Mickey Mouse headbands like they were two ten-year-olds. They really looked happy… and in love, like Seungyoun said.

Wooseok closed the app right after. He didn’t feel like checking his SNS anymore. Actually, he was kind of horny. Seungyoun had been away for four whole days already. Not like he was counting or anything, of course. Seungyoun must have been really busy, because there was no trace of him on social medias and he didn’t even send Wooseok a text, and that was quite unusual.

Wooseok decided to take a selfie, too. He looked really good with damp hair after a shower, he looked sexy. And he was epically bored, too, without his roommates around (Wooseok and Yohan had another roommate, but he was always out as well). Wooseok took a couple of innocent selfies first, then things escalated quickly and before he could even realize what he was doing, he was already taking off his t-shirt and sweatpants and taking really sexy and provocative pictures. Lying on bed lasciviously with open legs, biting his lips, languid eyes, touching his nipples, playing with the hem of his briefs… he used to be a model, so he knew the best poses and angles that made him look glorious in pictures.

He usually wasn’t the type to make the first move and text someone first, but since the photos came out well, he decided to send a couple of them to Seungyoun through KakaoTalk, without any message attached. Not like the pictures needed a context, anyway. He just wanted to build some anticipation and tension for when Seungyoun would have come back to Korea and they could finally meet.

Weirdly enough, though, Wooseok kept on waiting, waiting, and waiting, and yet… Seungyoun’s reply to those texts never came. Actually, Seungyoun still had to check them out. At first Wooseok thought that the other was just busy in that moment and that he would have replied, most probably, the next day… but Wooseok didn’t receive any reply even then. Seungyoun had always replied to Wooseok’s texts before, always. Even when he was extremely busy, even with just an emoji. That complete silence from Seungyoun put Wooseok in a weird and quite sour mood.

His mood only worsened when, on the 6th day since Seungyoun’s departure, Wooseok opened Instagram during his lunch break and noticed that Seungyoun had updated his Instagram Stories with some pictures taken in Japan. He had actually seen Wooseok’s texts on KakaoTalk, too, but still no reply. Was Seungyoun actually ignoring him? And why? Wooseok tried to convince himself that Seungyoun was just busy and put aside those weird thoughts. He didn’t even know why he cared, anyway.

His mood took a further hit later that night, when he received a text from Yohan: _“Hyung, is Seungyounie-hyung in Tokyo, too?”_

Wooseok furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at that question.

_“Yeah, he’s there on a business trip. Why?"_

_“Me and Hangyul are hanging out in a gay club and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him here as well.”_

_Oh._ So Seungyoun wasn’t so busy, after all. Still, he wasn’t replying to Wooseok’s texts.

_“And so?”_

_“Nothing… I was just wondering if it was actually him.”_ Then another text: _“He’s with a very hot and tall dude.”_

 _Hot and tall…_ was that description even necessary? Wooseok rolled his eyes in annoyance and threw his phone on the bed. So Seungyoun was ignoring him, after all. Fine. Fuck Seungyoun. Wooseok could perfectly live without him. That was only Seungyoun’s loss, after all.

The next day, Wooseok couldn’t even greet Yohan properly when the latter came back from his honeymoon to Japan. Yohan was literally glowing, talking nonstop about Disneyland, showing Wooseok all the photos he and Hangyul had taken during the trip, showing him all the souvenirs they had bought, but actually Wooseok wasn’t listening to any of that. He just kept nodding and smiling, while his brain was completely focused on the fact that a whole week had passed since Seungyoun had left, so maybe he was already back in Seoul. Who cares. Wooseok had no intention to meet him, anyway. Not when Seungyoun had the guts to leave him on read like that.

Wooseok actually thought that in that moment. But when around 10pm he suddenly received a text from Seungyoun, Wooseok felt a sort of electricity in his whole body. He couldn’t quite define that sensation, and he didn’t even want to. He still wanted to keep his pride intact, though, so his initial plan was to ignore Seungyoun’s text for a few days. A few hours, at least. Just to get his revenge. Seungyoun had to get a taste of his own medicine. But then curiosity took over Wooseok and he ended up reading the text just a couple of minutes later.

_“Nice photos!  
I just came back to Seoul and I’m near your house, if you’re not busy can we meet?”_

Wooseok was angry. What was that half-assed reaction to Wooseok’s amazing sexy photos? He was very pissed. But he was also horny, too, after a whole week without seeing Seungyoun. A part of him really wanted to say no, but…

_“Ok.”_

_“Great, I’ll be there in ten.”_

Wooseok quickly got up from his bed. What was he supposed to wear? Just a simple cute outfit was fine. Ah, his hair was a mess, too. When Wooseok received another text from Seungyoun that informed him that he was already in front of his house, Wooseok literally ran out of his bedroom as if he was late to his first day of work, or as if the end of the world was coming. Yohan, who was sitting on the couch in the living room watching some sappy drama, turned around to look at him with a questioning gaze.

«Yah, where are you going in such a hurry?»

«Seungyoun,» Wooseok curtly said, opening the front door of their apartment and getting out. That was an exhaustive enough answer, anyway.

When Wooseok walked out of his condo, the chilly November’s breeze hitting his face, he tried hard to look unbothered and to control the speed of his steps; he didn’t want to make noticeable the fact he had been running. But when he saw Seungyoun’s BMW parked on the other side of the street, waiting for him, he almost started to run again. He was so happy. Finally he was getting laid for good.

As soon as he reached the car and opened the door next to the passenger seat, he was welcomed by Seungyoun’s bright and wide smile, as usual. Wooseok got inside the car with a tiny smile on his lips as Seungyoun asked him, «Hi. How have you been?»

«I’m okay. How was your trip?»

«Ah, it went well, but I’ve been a bit busy… sorry for not replying sooner,» Seungyoun apologized, a sad puppy-like smile on his lips, and Wooseok suddenly remembered about the photos sent through KakaoTalk and the fact Seungyoun completely ignored them. Wooseok had totally forgotten about it for a minute.

«Whatever. You’re not obliged to reply all the times,» Wooseok reassured the other. He wasn’t angry anymore. Now it didn’t even sound like a big deal to begin with. Not when Seungyoun’s hair won’t stay in place and he kept passing a hand through it. Not when he looked so good.

«Anyway, Yohan is home so I can’t ask you to come over for some tea,» Wooseok said with a low husky voice, getting slightly closer, his hand casually landing on Seungyoun’s thigh. Seungyoun softly laughed at the obvious implication behind those words. Wooseok then asked, «Your place?»

«Mhhh… actually I came here because we need to talk,» Seungyoun admitted, destroying Wooseok’s enthusiasm way too soon.

«Talk?» Wooseok blurted out, confused. Since when they met just to talk? «About what?»

Seungyoun’s smile disappeared from his lips. His gaze fell on Wooseok’s hand that was still on his thigh. Wooseok got a very bad feeling from the other’s sudden seriousness.

«Wooseokie… let’s stop,» Seungyoun then said and Wooseok removed his hand from where it was placed. He was extremely confused, but it still seemed the best thing to do.

«Stop what?»

«Whatever relationship we have right now… I don’t want to do it anymore.»

Wooseok opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out, so he closed it again. In that moment he felt extremely weird. The feeling that invaded his whole body reminded him of something, something very far away, something of the past, but he didn’t know what. Actually, he didn’t even want to try to remember what specific memory that feeling was tied to. His mental stability didn’t need that.

«… Why?» Wooseok decided to ask after a long silence.

«I’ve met someone. I really like him and I want to date him properly. Sadly, having a sex friend isn’t contemplated,» Seungyoun explained, trying to smile again, and only then Wooseok finally connected the dots.

«The _hot and tall_ guy you spent time with in Japan?» Wooseok blurted out before he could hold himself back. Seungyoun opened up in very a confused expression, so Wooseok hurried up to explain, «You know that Yohan went to Japan, too. He saw you in a club in Tokyo and told me.»

«Oh… Well, yeah.»

So that was the real reason why Seungyoun kept ignoring Wooseok the whole time. Not even bothering to reply to his texts until the moment he came back to Seoul. That cold reaction, too… and now that Wooseok was thinking about it, he realized that Seungyoun had neglected him not only during his trip to Japan, but even before that. In that last period he’d find a lot of excuses in order not to meet Wooseok, saying that he was busy because of work or that he just had something else to do.

Now everything made sense. So much sense that Wooseok felt like a complete fool, an idiot. He couldn’t believe he’d even let Seungyoun’s attitude effect his mood. He found it almost funny, in that moment. So funny that he snorted, nodding knowingly.

«Fine,» Wooseok stated, then, acting completely unbothered. He was literally smiling. «Yah, I can’t believe you came all the way here just to tell me this. You could’ve just sent me a text or block me on SNS,» he then laughed.

Wooseok had been ghosted and blocked everywhere from some of the guys he’d had casual relationships with when they decided that they didn’t want to see him anymore, and Wooseok was the type to do the same. That avoided extremely uncomfortable situations like that one he was currently in. But, of course, Seungyoun was different from the other guys. He was so considerate. He was genuinely nice.

Wooseok got further confirmation of how nice Seungyoun was when the latter opened up in a hesitant smile and said, «I still want to be your friend, though. I mean, just a friend.»

Wooseok didn’t want to be “just a friend”. He really didn’t. He was perfectly fine with Seungyoun being his friend with benefits. That sex friend that was easy and comfortable.

«Whatever,» Wooseok eventually answered, because saying “no” would have given Seungyoun the impression that Wooseok was actually effected by the whole thing, when, obviously, he wasn’t. He didn’t care at all.

«Okay,» Seungyoun mumbled. He looked maybe sad, or maybe uncomfortable, or maybe both. Wooseok couldn’t tell exactly.

«Are you angry?» Seungyoun asked again after a few seconds of complete silence.

«No,» Wooseok hurried to answer. «I’m happy, actually. I was getting tired of this as well, you were starting to become boring.»

Wooseok was being mean, and purposely so. Being an ass was the best way to protect himself and come out of that situation with his pride still intact. He wanted to look like the only winner in that moment, the cool one, the untouchable. Even the hurt look on Seungyoun’s face made Wooseok feel good and satisfied. Seungyoun deserved that: he broke their deal and treated Wooseok like an idiot.

«Well, see you around,» Wooseok wrapped up their conversation coldly, opening the car door and getting out. He closed the BMW door behind himself just in time to hear Seungyoun say, softly, «Bye, Wooseokie. Goodnight.»

While walking towards the entrance of his condo, the cold breeze hurting his eyes, Wooseok wondered how he was even supposed to find the courage to tell Yohan that, for once, he was right.

Eventually, Seungyoun had dumped Wooseok for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading so far! And don't worry, this isn't the end, lol. I don't know when I'll update with the second chapter, though, because this first chapter is all I've written so far, so... I need time to write the rest, ahah.  
> I hope you liked it and... see you soon :)


	2. Your Human Lie Detector

Sitting at the dining table having breakfast, Yohan quietly observed Wooseok pouring some water into a glass and then drink it after putting a big ass pill inside his mouth, which he swallowed with an easiness that made Yohan feel slightly uncomfortable.

«Hyung, are you okay?» he asked, hesitantly.

«Yeah. I just have a headache,» Wooseok answered, and his voiced sounded really raspy and low.

«But you’ve been taking those painkillers for a couple of days now… Are you sure you want to go to work? Don’t you want to see a doctor?» Yohan probed the other, an extremely worried expression on his puppy-like face, so much that Wooseok snorted as he tried to sound reassuring, «It’s okay, you know that sometimes I get these strong headaches that last for days.»

But Yohan wasn’t dumb and he knew Wooseok better than anyone else. He knew that Wooseok got those very strong headaches every time something made him feel seriously upset. Last time it happened, Wooseok’s grandma had died, and before that… _well_. Lots of things happened. Yohan just knew that this time around Wooseok’s headache had to do with Seungyoun. Wooseok didn’t even need to say that out loud for Yohan to know. Still, he was also aware of the fact that his best friend wasn’t currently in the best state of mind to talk about it, so he just mumbled, «Alright.»

«Don’t worry. See you tonight,» Wooseok said, reaching out his hand to pat Yohan’s head. Wooseok realized too late that it was a really bad move, because images of Seungyoun wearing a dog collar and being patted for being a good puppy immediately resurface inside Wooseok’s mind, and Seungyoun was definitely the last entity on earth that Wooseok wanted to think about.

Still, Wooseok had to face Seungyoun sooner or later. Besides the fact they usually hung out at the same bars and clubs along the Homo Hill in Itaewon, so the chances to meet him there were considerably high, Wooseok was in the middle of work when he gasped so loudly that his coworker almost got a heart attack: he suddenly realized that he had left his sex toys and some of his clothes at Seungyoun’s place, and he had to get them back somehow.

He felt nauseous when he opened Seungyoun’s chat on KakaoTalk and their last exchange of texts appeared again in front of his eyes. On the spur of the moment, Wooseok canceled everything, even the photos and the sexting. Everything. Now there was just an empty chat left.

After putting some effort, Wooseok was able to type: “I just remembered that I have left my toys and some of my clothes at your place.” It took him even more effort to finally send the text.

This time, Seungyoun’s reply came quickly. 

_“Shit, you’re right! Sorry, I forgot about them ☹_  
_Are you free tonight? I can come by after work to bring you your stuff.”_

Wooseok was already typing “alright”, when he decided to cancel it and write instead: _“Sorry but I can’t. Seeing someone tonight.”_

It was obviously a lie, but Seungyoun didn’t know. Wooseok felt quite proud of himself for coming up with that.

_“Okay, let me know when you’re free then.”_

Wooseok just sighed, suddenly not feeling that good anymore, and his headache only worsened later that night, when curiosity won over him again and he had the brilliant idea to check Seungyoun’s Instagram Stories. Apparently Seungyoun was out, having dinner and a drink with someone he had tagged on the story. Wooseok had the feeling that that person was the _hot and tall_ guy Seungyoun was dating, because it only made sense for them to hang out and eat together after work if they were actually dating. 

Wooseok knew that he shouldn’t be interested, even less curious about Seungyoun and his boyfriend, but before he could stop himself, he was already snooping around, checking the Instagram account of this “Wooya” guy. And Yohan was right: he actually looked hot and tall, as described. Nice face with a long and tall nose, too, although his eyes were covered by his long bangs in most of his selfies. 

Wooseok clicked his tongue, because the guy didn’t exactly look like Seungyoun’s type, despite the fact he was good looking. He was probably a top, too, he gave off that vibe. And then Wooseok realized that maybe it made sense. Maybe Seungyoun had realized that he liked tall and manly guys who topped, instead of short and pretty boys who bottomed. Maybe Seungyoun had realized that Wooseok wasn’t the type of guy he wanted to fuck anymore. It was totally possible. 

Wooseok loved everything about himself, from his short height (that some people considered a flaw) to his androgynous looks. He wasn’t the type to feel insecure or self-conscious about anything at all, but suddenly he wondered if Seungyoun hadn’t decided to stop seeing Wooseok because of his looks. And he hated the fact he even thought about it to begin it. What an idiot. What was up with him all of a sudden?

Wooseok decided all on his own that he felt like that exclusively because his pride was hurt, and nothing more. He didn’t care about Seungyoun, anyway.

*******

Despite the fact Wooseok’s headache was still killing him and he didn’t feel like going out once he had returned home from the office every night, Wooseok still tried to be active on meeting apps in order to find some handsome guys worthy enough to have the great honor to have nice one-night-stands with him.

Wooseok knew that he wouldn’t have found another friend with benefits as good as Seungyoun any time soon, so he didn’t have any other choice than enjoying himself with random dudes from time to time, when he felt like it. He honestly hoped that meeting them was worth the bother. Wooseok’s tastes were kind of peculiar, he had to admit that. Not just when it came to men in general, but when it came to sex, too. It wasn’t that easy to find someone willing to satisfy his fantasies the same way Seungyoun used to.

Wooseok sighed, quite annoyed, when he read the new text this younger guy sent him on Grindr: _“But you really are beautiful, wow… what about sending me some nudes?”_

As if Wooseok would send pictures of his precious naked body to some random dude on a meeting app. Never. Although said dude was undeniably hot and Wooseok had even considered meeting him in person for a moment. Wooseok unceremoniously blocked him without a second thought, feeling even more annoyed because his headache won’t leave him alone and the metro train was packed with people returning home after work and they were pressed against him, pushing. So damn annoying. His boss had decided to go home later than usual that night, so Wooseok and the rest of the employees had to stay at work after working hours as well. It was late, he was hungry and he hated his boss so much. 

When he finally reached his house, Wooseok distractively looked up from his phone and for a moment he thought he was hallucinating: Seungyoun was there, waiting for Wooseok in front of the entrance of the condo, his car parked not far away along the road. Seungyoun immediately smiled and waved his hand as soon as Wooseok noticed him. 

Wooseok felt weird all over at that view. His heart was acting weird, too. It was almost like his heart was beating fast, almost aching. He didn’t know what to do… walk towards him? Ignore him? Run away? Before Wooseok could choose among these options, Seungyoun was already getting closer, still smiling.

«Wooseokie, hi. Have you been well?» 

«Yeah,» Wooseok answered, trying hard to control his voice. «What are you doing here?»

«Since I had some time, I just thought to come by to give your things back. They’re in the car,» Seungyoun answered and Wooseok wondered how much the other had waited out there for him to come back home, since he even got out of work later than usual. His roommates probably weren’t home either.

«Haven’t you waited a lot, though? You should’ve sent me a text.»

«I knew that if I told you beforehand, you’d have found an excuse not to see me. Are you avoiding me?»

Wooseok felt like he got caught doing something really bad. It was kind of true that he wasn’t hanging out with his friends at the usual places in order not to see Seungyoun. And it was also true that Wooseok had come forward first to remind Seungyoun of the things he had left inside Seungyoun’s wardrobe, but then Wooseok just disappeared, not contacting the other again and not replying to his texts.

Still, Wooseok couldn’t just admit to it, so he snorted like it was just ridiculous.

«Why would I even avoid you? You’re giving yourself too much relevancy,» he mocked Seungyoun, and when the latter opened his mouth to say something, Wooseok hurried up to explain, «I told you, I’m seeing people and sometimes I have a bad headache and I don’t feel like doing anything, why?»

«You get those headaches every time you’re upset. Did something happen?» Seungyoun asked after a few seconds of silence. Wooseok hated the fact that Seungyoun had paid enough attention to him to know about the nature of his headaches (although Wooseok refused to believe that he got that headache because he was upset about something; he wasn’t _upset_ ) and was worried about him even though Wooseok was giving him the cold and mean treatment. It made Wooseok feel like a horrible person. It made him feel guilty. And it was stupid for him to feel like that, when the only one who should’ve felt guilty was Seungyoun. 

«It’s nothing, I’m just tired,» Wooseok lied, not even looking the other in the eyes. 

Wooseok felt the weird ache in his chest intensifying when Seungyoun suddenly got closer and placed a couple of fingers under Wooseok’s chin, in a silent request for Wooseok to finally look up at him straight in the eyes. When their eyes finally met, Seungyoun was so serious. He had that completely focused look that Wooseok had only seen during sex before. He had to admit it was kind of hot and he was feeling… _things_. A part of him wished that maybe… just a kiss… But then, out of nowhere, Seungyoun snorted loudly.

«Yah, is my face that funny?» Wooseok growled, incredibly annoyed and embarrassed by his own thoughts, punching Seungyoun’s arm.

«Sorry, I was just thinking that you really can’t lie to me, I’m pretty much your human lie detector,» Seungyoun bragged, that soft and sweet smile back on his lips, and Wooseok felt so humiliated he wanted to die. He hoped that his cheeks and ears weren’t giving him away.

«Wait here, I’m going to get your things,» Seungyoun then said, starting to walk towards his car. He came back some seconds later, holding in his hands a closed box and a pretty shopping bag containing Wooseok’s clothes. As soon as Wooseok took them from Seungyoun’s hands, he immediately noticed that his clothes were clean and neatly folded inside the bag. Seungyoun had probably washed them. There definitely were more clothes than expected, he didn’t even remember about all of them.

Then, Wooseok suddenly realized something: «Ah, I think I have a couple of your things at home, too. I can bring them to you right now.»

Seungyoun just shook his head, still smiling.

«Don’t worry, you can keep them.»

«But I have your leather jacket, that one is expensive,» Wooseok tried to fight back. Seungyoun had lent that jacket to him a night when it was heavily raining and it was colder than usual, because Wooseok liked it so much and wanted to wear it for a while. But then Wooseok never gave it back (he kind of pretended to forget about it, actually) and Seungyoun never asked it back either.

«Just keep it, you liked it so much,» Seungyoun insisted, and who was Wooseok to say no? He really liked the jacket, after all. He was kind of happy, actually.

Faking indifference, Wooseok just shrugged. «Whatever. It’s too big for me anyway,» he mumbled, and he felt weird again when Seungyoun said, «No, it fits perfectly.»

After that they just bid goodbye to each other and they went separated ways. Wooseok dragged himself to his apartment, feeling so incredibly heavy and sad without a reason, and of course his apartment was empty, both his roommates were out, as suspected.

Wooseok just took a quick shower and went to bed without eating. He only took another painkiller for his headache; he wasn’t hungry anymore. He was grateful that Yohan wasn’t there to keep an eye on him, otherwise he was sure his roommate would have scolded him to no end, and in that moment Wooseok didn’t have the strength to stand that, too. 

He just made sure to place the clothes that Seungyoun had brought to him inside his drawers. And then he noticed that among his things there was this very ugly orange hoodie and it surely was Seungyoun’s. Wooseok didn’t even remember when and how he ended up borrowing the hoodie, but when he took it in his hands and brought it close to his nose, he immediately recognized Seungyoun’s scent. The nice smell of his cologne. There was a sweeter note, too. Probably the scent of his shampoo mixed with clothes detergent. It smelled nice, like Seungyoun’s bed; comforting, nostalgic. 

He wore the orange hoodie and put himself to bed. It reminded him of the day of Wooseok’s grandma’s funeral, when Seungyoun drove him home after attending the ceremony. That time, they'd spent the whole night hugging each other, Seungyoun’s hand caressing Wooseok’s headache away, without even fucking or touching each other in a sexual way. Wooseok then realized that that night had probably been the most intimate one they had ever spent together.

But then, wrapped in the bubble of Seungyoun’s scent, his mind started to remember the touch of Seungyoun’s warm hands traveling along his body, Seungyoun’s soft lips and tongue leaving wet trails along his neck and chest, Seungyoun’s teeth softly biting down on his nipples before traveling down… Seungyoun’s hands spreading Wooseok’s legs, just enough to put his head between them and lick Wooseok’s bulge through the fabric of the briefs… a shaky breath left Wooseok’s lips, realizing he was hard. He started to touch himself, imagining that he hand stroking his hard dick was Seungyoun’s. He imagined Seungyoun taking him in his mouth. He imagined Seungyoun fucking him senseless. He put a couple of fingers in his mouth, wetting them, before putting them inside. Fingering and touching himself, he came all over his stomach, and he hoped that he didn’t stain Seungyoun’s hoodie.

Breathing hard, Wooseok cleaned up himself, fixed his messed clothes and before he could even realize, he was sleeping already.

*******

Wooseok and Seungyoun didn’t meet anymore after that night, and soon December came and, with that, Hangyul’s birthday.

«Hyung,» Yohan hesitantly called out for Wooseok a morning, the both of them sitting at the dining table eating breakfast. «I know you often get headaches these days and it’s not the best moment, but it’s Hangyul’s birthday in a few days and I was thinking to hold a small birthday party here. You know his apartment is too small and too crowded, here it’s more comfortable for everyone. It would be just a dinner with our friends, nothing too messy or loud. Is it okay with you?»

«It’s okay, if _the other guy_ agrees to it, too,» Wooseok answered, and with “the other guy” he meant their student roommate that in that moment was fast asleep in his own bedroom. 

«I’ve already asked Junho and he said it’s not a problem to him,» Yohan quickly said, than he smiled fondly as he added, «Actually he’s quite excited about it, he’s already planning on how to decorate the apartment.»

Wooseok groaned loudly, because he already knew that things would have escalated quickly and their apartment would have become a whole circus if only he let his two younger roommates decorate the house for Hangyul’s birthday, as if the three of them weren’t extremely messy already. 

«Just don’t let him go overboard with the decorations, since we’ll be the ones who’ll have the clean up afterwards,» Wooseok warned Yohan, pointing his chopsticks at his roommate’s face. 

Yohan giggled in a very cute way as he said, «Sorry, I can’t guarantee that!»

Wooseok smiled, because he couldn’t be stern in front of so much cuteness, but then his smile died on his lips when he realized something… he really needed to know if his suspects were legit. 

Wooseok cleared his throat and, faking complete indifference, he asked, «Who is coming?»

«Seungyounie-hyung is coming, if that’s what you want to know,» Yohan said, without even pretending not to know what Wooseok was referring to and crushing down his hopes a pride in just a moment. «You know he and Hangyul get along really well.»

«I know, of course, I just asked out of curiosity,» Wooseok lied, hiding his embarrassment for being caught with his typical pouting smile. When he looked up again, though, he noticed that Yohan suddenly looked uncomfortable. The younger one cleared his throat, too, and started to pick on his breakfast and to look everywhere but in Wooseok’s direction. It was definitely a suspicious attitude. Yohan didn’t know how to be subtle.

«What now?» Wooseok probed him.

«Actually…» Yohan trailed off, obviously nervous. «Seungyounie-hyung’s hot and tall boyfriend is coming, too!» he finally blurted out, speaking so fast that Wooseok almost didn’t catch the whole thing. He seriously hoped that he got it wrong.

«What?» Wooseok asked, trying to keep his cool, while Yohan was obviously panicking. 

«No… well, we met Seungyounie-hyung and his hot and tall boyfriend the other night at _Why not?_ and… Hangyulie was kind of drunk and he was like “Yah, your friend can come, too!” and I don’t know how… they ended up agreeing to it and so… now the both of them are officially invited!»

So… it was finally time for Wooseok not only to confront Seungyoun again, after weeks of avoiding, but to meet his famous hot and tall boyfriend, too. He felt like his head suddenly ended up inside a fishbowl. That was a weird feeling for sure. But while Yohan was almost crying and begging for forgiveness, Wooseok decided to pull his head out of the fishbowl. _Whatever._ It wasn’t a big deal.

«Fine,» Wooseok finally stated, putting down his chopsticks. He didn’t feel like eating anymore.

«… Really?» Yohan asked after a few seconds of silence, very slowly and hesitantly. 

«Of course. You’re acting like I care. I don’t at all,» Wooseok answered, smiling confidently, and that must have reassured Yohan quite a bit, because he was slowly calming down as well.

«Are you sure?» Yohan asked again, not completely convinced, but Wooseok was «More than sure,» like he stated while getting up from the chair. It was time to go to work.

But, of course, Wooseok wasn’t as ready and sure as he initially thought. As the days passed by and Hangyul’s birthday started to get closer, Wooseok’s headache only kept being more intense and annoying. He wasn’t in the mood for a party, but at least he was finally making consistent progresses with his research for a sex partner. This time, thought, he didn’t meet the potential candidate through Grindr, but in a very nice and cozy café near his workplace that he had discovered only recently. 

It was Saturday morning. It finally was the day of Hangyul’s birthday party, so he went to that café exclusively to work at the presentation for his new project and drink a nice cup of coffee without his annoying and loud roommates (and their friends) around, who were getting the apartment ready for Hangyul’s birthday party with an embarrassing amount of balloons, festoons and stuff. The last thing he expected, though, was to find in that café a nice and obviously younger new waiter, who suddenly approached Wooseok and placed on his table a cappuccino with a flawless heart drawn on top. 

Wooseok then looked up at the waiter with a questioning gaze. He for sure had never ordered anything like that and he was about to say it, when the other leaned in closer and opened up in a grin while saying, «It’s on me.» What’s worse, he said that with a wink. Then he slid on the table a tiny folded piece of paper before walking away, leaving Wooseok there, completely dumbfounded. 

Wooseok had to admit that that was a very cringe-worthy experience, but the guy at least was nice and tried a straightforward approach. The waiter’s dyed hair was the same color of sand and it shined pleasantly under the sunlight that came through the big windows of the coffee shop. Wooseok wasn’t sure that the guy was his type, his facial features weren’t that attractive to him, although he was tall and with good proportions.

Sighing (damn, he got distracted from his work), he casually looked outside of the café windows and something immediately caught his attention: someone who looked a lot like Seungyoun was walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the road, and he was with someone. The hot and tall guy. The two of them were laughing about something as they walked inside a sportswear shop, and Wooseok was pretty sure that they were looking for a gift for Hangyul, since the latter was a dancer and a sporty person in general.

Wooseok felt annoyed. Why did he have to see them there of all places? His focus on the project was already gone for good. Fuck it.

Quickly, he got up from the chair, put his laptop inside his bag and grabbed the folded piece of paper with the guy’s number written on it. He looked up to see the waiter subtly staring at him from afar, then adverting his gaze all embarrassed as soon as their eyes met. Ah. The guy was cute, after all. Fine. Wooseok would have called him, maybe. He thought that as he walked out of the coffee shop leaving the cappuccino with a cute heart on top completely untouched on the table.

*******

«Hyung, what is that?» Junho asked, pointing at something on the birthday cake Yohan just finished decorating with his own hands.

«It’s a frog, Junho-yah… _a frog_ ,» Yohan answered, as if it was obvious, but maybe not, because Junho looked extremely serious as he said, «It looks like a bush with a butt.»

«Yah!»

«What time is Hangyul coming?» Wooseok asked, making his apparition in the living room after hours spent locked inside his bedroom, trying to finish his project and… well, deciding what to wear for the night. He had to pay attention to where he put his feet because there were balloons and useless stuff scattered even on the floor. A big “Happy Birthday Hangyul” was attached to the living room wall, over the TV, and shiny streamers were fluctuating over his head from the ceiling. Saying that it made Wooseok feel anxious was an euphemism. 

«Woah, hyung… you look so good!» Yohan exclaimed, looking at Wooseok with a half shocked and half admired expression. Indeed, Wooseok knew that he looked particularly stunning that night. It’s not like he’d paid a little too attention to his outfit and look, at all, but the black sweater that showed off his neck line and clavicles and the black pants, combined with his bangs swept to the side to expose his forehead and the light red lip tint on the lips, probably gave that impression to others. 

Acting like it was nothing, he just smiled and said, «As usual.»

«Why did you dress up, though? I thought this was just an informal birthday party among friends,» Junho intervened, looking at Wooseok with a puzzled expression. Wooseok just shrugged, unbothered. «I’m not dressed up at all, Junho-yah. This is how I usually look.»

«Hyung,» Junho started off, really seriously. «I live with you. We both know that’s just a straight up lie.» 

Wooseok opened his mouth to counterattack, in disbelief, because the offense was just too much to handle (although he knew his younger roommate wasn’t lying: Wooseok loved comfortable clothes and he usually only wore oversized t-shirts and sweatpants inside the house, without even bothering to fixing his hair), but then Junho seemed to realize something, because he quickly asked Yohan, «Is Seungyoun-hyung coming?»

«Yeah. And his new boyfriend, too,» Yohan mumbled; in that moment he was extremely focused on the very demanding task of putting the candles on the freshly decorated green cake. Junho then just hummed and nodded his head, knowingly. «This explains everything,» he commented.

«This doesn’t explain anything at all,» Wooseok tried to defend himself, but Yohan ignored him, while Junho just conceded him a very flat «Sure.»

Wooseok rolled his eyes in annoyance. Whatever, they could think everything they wanted, it was none of his business, anyway. He decided to change topic, so he got closer to the kitchen counter and stole a bit of food from a plate that was meant for dinner, receiving a deadly glare for Yohan. 

«Anyway, does Hangyul know that you two are the ones who cooked?» Wooseok decided to ask, because the taste of the food he had stolen wasn’t exactly bad, but it wasn’t the best either. Yohan wasn’t exactly an experienced cook and the dinner could end up being either an unexpected success or a complete disaster. Wooseok was definitely there for the disaster and the fun time.

«Only Yohanie-hyung cooked, actually. I just watched and tested the food out to avoid poisoning,» Junho quickly pulled himself out of the game in order to save his own ass in case of disaster, making Wooseok chuckle and receiving a rather threatening «Yah, you…» from Yohan, that made Junho run away.

«Hangyulie doesn’t know,» Yohan then confessed. He was pouting and he was blushing. He looked so cute that Wooseok felt almost moved. «He said that he wanted to order chicken for everyone, but… I wanted to make it special, you know. Like, a surprise. Also, it’s not a birthday party without seaweed soup.»

«Oooh… I feel love in the air,» Wooseok teased Yohan, making the latter blush even harder, because that was probably the most boyfriend thing that Yohan had ever done until that moment, even more than going to Disneyland together for their anniversary or gifting Hangyul flowers after a particularly important performance. Getting up early in the morning to cook and decorate the house with the help of some friends in order to surprise your significant other… Wooseok couldn’t picture himself doing something like that for someone. Literally everyone around Yohan and Hangyul was envious of their lovely relationship and called them “cute”, but Wooseok still couldn’t bring himself to think that he’d like to have a relationship like that. An exclusive relationship where one put the other’s happiness and well being in front of anyone and anything else… it was hard for Wooseok to imagine in that phase of his life.

Anyway, the guests started to come and, luckily for Wooseok, whose headache was still more alive than ever, Hangyul and Yohan didn’t invite over many people. Actually, Wooseok was kind of glad that he knew all of them and none of them was a particularly annoying presence… except for… _well_. 

Seungyoun and his boyfriend would have come later than the rest of the guests, bringing Hangyul along with them. Because, of course, it was supposed to be a surprise for the birthday boy, who expected just a plain “chicken & beer” night with his closest friends. Basically, Yohan had planned everything in order to make Wooseok’s wait for the battle even more excruciating than necessary. But then, finally the doorbell rang. Excited whispers started to fill the room. He vaguely heard someone whisper “let’s hide!” but Wooseok’s brain was too focused on the fact that soon Seungyoun’s boyfriend would be there, right in front of Wooseok’s eyes, in flesh and blood. He realized that he had to move only when Junho grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to a corner. 

Then the scene unfolded in front of Wooseok’s eyes like a slow motion sequence. Hangyul came in first. Everyone jumped out screaming «Surprise!» so loud that Hangyul probably got a heart attack on the spot. Then everyone assaulted him to place a birthday cone hat on his head and wishing him a happy birthday, it was a complete and loud mess. Yohan literally jumped on his boyfriend like an overly excited bunny, almost killing him. Everything was as usual, pretty much. But Wooseok’s eyes were focused on the tall man that was watching the scene with an amused smile, but keeping a respectful distance, typical of someone who wasn’t familiar with the new surroundings. 

It was him. Seungyoun’s hot and tall boyfriend. He really was tall. His long black coat only made him look taller. Wide shoulders, long legs. His dark hair fell over his eyes. He was definitely attractive and Wooseok was only more annoyed and disappointed. He’d seriously hoped for Seungyoun’s boyfriend not to actually be that hot and tall, but of course he was. Of course.

Only when the group of friends around Hangyul moved away, Wooseok spotted Seungyoun, too. He was next to Hangyul, smiling happily. Under his jacket he was wearing a light blue bottom-up shirt and a nice pair of jeans. His usual glasses with the black frame on his tall nose. He’d styled his hair, too. He looked handsome. So handsome that Wooseok couldn’t stop staring, he could only indistinctively hear Yohan’s voice say, «I wanted to do something special for your birthday, so…», followed by Hangyul’s voice, «Did you seriously prepared all of this on your own?»

Only when Junho clapped his hands with fake excitement and exclaimed loudly, «Yohanie-hyung cooked _all_ the food alone, with his own hands! Isn’t it impressive?!» Wooseok finally came back to reality.

«Not true, Junho-yah helped me,» Yohan shot back, sending a deadly glare at Junho. «I don’t know how good it is, though,» he continued, pouting a bit in uncertainty. Hangyul then put his arms around Yohan’s waist and, looking at him straight in the eyes with something that looked a lot like unconditioned love, he whispered, «It’s amazing. Thank you. I love you.» Wooseok was pretty sure that he had never heard Hangyul say something so seriously before. When the two kissed lovingly, an explosion of voices invaded the living room, and while everyone was yelling «Yah, yah, yah!» or «Get a room!», Seungyoun immediately covered Junho’s eyes, shouting: «Not in front of the kids!»

The others laughed at that, except for Wooseok who just shook his head with a grimace on his lips for the excessive display of affection in public. Yohan and Hangyul were so disgustingly sweet that they were going to cause him tooth decay someday... and then… Wooseok felt a pair of eyes on himself. He looked at his left side to find Seungyoun’s boyfriend right next to him, looking down at Wooseok with a wide tight-lipped smile. 

He looked actually nice and friendly as he bowed politely towards Wooseok, still smiling, and introduced himself, «Nice to meet you, I’m Han Seungwoo.» Too bad Wooseok wasn’t going to fall in his trap.

«Ah, Yeah. I’m Kim Wooseok,» Wooseok answered with a short bow, trying to sound uninterested, but then Seungwoo’s smile became even bigger as he said, «I know,» and Wooseok couldn’t pretend not care anymore.

He knew Wooseok? He knew his name, who he was? Before Wooseok could ask the other what he meant, Seungwoo was already walking away to find his place next to Seungyoun. And Wooseok didn’t like that. He didn’t like how the whole dinner was going, to be more specific, and (luckily or unluckily, based on different points of view) it wasn’t because of Yohan’s cooking. 

Since Seungwoo was the new entry of the group, unavoidably most of the conversations during dinner were focused on Seungwoo. Everyone was so curious about this new and fascinating man that looked so handsome and regal. Junho, who was sitting right next to Wooseok, won’t stop asking question. 

Seungwoo was almost thirty and worked for one of the most important fashion magazines of South Korea. One of those magazines where the most famous celebrities of the moment were always on the cover. Apparently Seungyoun took photos for said magazine, from time to time, and somehow Seungyoun and Seungwoo ended up meeting. Wooseok didn’t know exactly how. He wasn’t actually listening. 

Too bad that at some point he had to actually pay attention when Seungwoo, who was sitting in front of him, decided to ask something directly at him: «Wooseok-ssi, are you a model?»

«How could I be a model? I’m not good enough,» Wooseok answered with fake modesty, opening up in a smile that he hoped didn’t look too forced.

«He doesn’t actually think that, he’s just fishing for compliments right now,» Hangyul’s voice came from somewhere on Wooseok’s right side appositely to mock him, making everyone giggle and snort loudly. Wooseok looked at Hangyul with a stare that could potentially kill a whole army.

Seungwoo laughed at that. «My bad, I thought you were one because you’re so pretty and Seungyounie told me that you two first met on a photoshoot set,» Seungwoo justified himself and Wooseok felt so proud of himself, he loved that sense of victory he was feeling. Of course he was so beautiful that even a person who worked for an important fashion magazine would mistake him for a model.

«Thank you. I used to be a model for online catalogs when I was still a student,» Wooseok explained, and then his eyes _accidentally_ laid on Seungyoun when he realized that, apparently, Seungyoun had talked about him to Seungwoo (he really wanted to know what more Seungyoun said about him). Seungyoun was just there, looking at him and smiling softly, almost with fondness. Wooseok wanted to punch that smile off his face. He hated it. He immediately averted his gaze to look at Seungwoo as the latter kept asking: «Oh, I see. And what do you do now?»

«Wooseokie is an architect. He draws really well. He’s very talented,» Seungyoun answered in Wooseok’s place, still that smile on his face. Wooseok felt even more annoyed, because who was Seungyoun to answer for Wooseok as if Wooseok didn’t know how to talk on his own? He rolled his eyes and got up from the chair to help Yohan in the kitchen, who was desperately trying to light the candles on Hangyul’s birthday cake without causing a mess. Wooseok didn’t feel like being there with the other guests anymore.

«Hyung, can you at least try to smile once during my boyfriend’s birthday dinner?» Yohan asked in a low whisper, and Wooseok looked at him with a shocked expression. «What do you mean? I’ve smiled!»

Yohan then groaned and started to complain about Wooseok’s attitude, but Wooseok wasn’t listening: he could hear Junho’s voice mention his name, and that wasn’t a good sign.

«… back then I was just going through a hard time trying to accept my sexuality,» Junho was saying. He was telling the story of his life to the people around him and that meant just a thing: he was drunk. «It was very hard for me. It was a time where I had to leave my hometown and move to Seoul alone to attend college, too. But then I found this post on a forum, it was from a gay guy who was looking for a new gay roommate because he didn’t want straight people around. I get that now. Wooseokie hyung has always liked to bring guys home and he doesn’t like to have to worry about other people’s opinions…»

«That’s really typical of Wooseok,» someone was saying, matter-of-factly.

«Yeah. But Wooseokie-hyung isn’t really bringing guys home anymore since he and Seungyounie-hyung…»

_Fuck!_ Wooseok literally ran back to the living room and sat down next to Junho again just in time to interrupt him and subtly pinch his leg (which made him yelped in pain).

«What were you saying about me, Junho-yah?» Wooseok asked him, a forced smile on his lips.

«Nothing!» Junho quickly defended himself. He put an arm around Wooseok’s shoulder, trapping the tinier man in a hug, and then he chuckled. Ew, he smelled like soju. 

«I was saying that our Wooseokie-hyung is like a coin; small and precious,» Junho continued. He started to scratch Wooseok’s chin like the latter was a baby cat and then placed a kiss on top of Wooseok’s head. Wooseok rolled his eyes and slapped Junho’s lips.

«Leave me alone, child,» he warned the younger, but he couldn’t repress the smile that was taking form on his lips. Junho was such a cutie when he was drunk, except when… «I’m not a child, I’m a Goblin. Do y’all know about Goblin language?»

Wooseok rolled his eyes and sighed. Here we go again. Seungwoo chuckled and leaned towards Seungyoun to whisper inside his ear, «Goblin language?»

«Nevermind, he’s drunk,» Seungyoun whispered back, that wide smile back on his lips. Wooseok’s stomach twisted at that view. Seungyoun and Seungwoo looked so relaxed in each other’s proximity. They were so close. Seungwoo’s fingers were drawing irregular patterns on top of Seungyoun’s hand. 

Right then, the lights in the living room went off and everyone started to sing “happy birthday” very loudly and rather uncoordinatedly, because most of them were either tipsy or already drunk. Hangyul’s birthday cake had exactly 23 candles on top, so many that it looked like someone had lit a bonfire on the rather small cake, but Yohan was so proud of it and Hangyul looked so happy and moved, that it didn’t matter anyway.

The light of the candles cast a soft orange shine on Seungyoun’s profile. He looked unreal and almost magic in that moment. Seungwoo looked amazing, too. He was smiling happily, clapping his hands really softly, while his head was now resting on Seungyoun’s shoulder. Seungyoun’s arm wrapped around Seungwoo’s waist in a relaxed hug. They looked almost… _in love_. Between them there was an intimacy and closeness that Wooseok and Seungyoun never had before, despite all the times they had sex together. 

Right when Wooseok thought that there was definitely something wrong with him for thinking that and tried to ignore the renewed pulsing pain in his temples and the ache in his chest, someone pulled him closer, so that they could take a group photo with the weird green cake.

After taking an impressive amount of photos and selfies, Hangyul blew the candles off, making a wish. Junho hurried to turn the lights on again while everyone was clapping and cheering loudly (Wooseok seriously hoped that their neighbors wouldn’t complain about the noise) and when he looked up, he noticed Seungwoo’s eyes linger on him for just a moment, before looking away and act like nothing had happened at all. Weird.

Luckily for him, though, after that Seungyoun just left Seungwoo’s side to try out the improvised karaoke that Junho and some of his college friends had set up that afternoon; Seungyoun would never waste a chance to sing. He loved to sing too much. Seungyoun was probably screaming in the mic his third song in a row, paired up with an extremely euphoric and tipsy Yohan, when Wooseok noticed that Seungwoo kept checking his phone and texting someone. Wooseok kind of wanted to know who he was talking to.

«Oh, we have finished the beers. I’m going to buy some more,» Hangyul announced, already getting up from the couch to go and buy more stuff to drink at the mini-market open 24/7 down the street. Wooseok stopped him immediately, placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing him down on the couch.

«Don’t worry, I go. You’re the birthday boy,» Wooseok said, trying to sound the most convincing possible: it was the perfect chance for Wooseok to disappear for a while and take a breath of fresh air outside, away from Seungyoun and his boyfriend.

«But…» Hangyul tried to fight back, but Wooseok only intensified the grip on his shoulder.

« _I go_. Think of that as another birthday present from me.»

Maybe Wooseok actually looked and sounded crazy in that moment, because Hangyul had a very confused expression on his face as he mumbled, «Uh. Alright?»

«Seungyounie!» Seungwoo suddenly called out for the other, voice loud enough to make himself being heard over the music coming from the karaoke. Seungyoun turned around to look at Seungwoo; he looked ecstatic. He really loved to sing. «Go with Wooseok to buy more beer! It’s dangerous to go alone at this hour!»

Wooseok was shocked: what the hell?! Why Seungyoun of all people?!

«Right, let’s go together,» Seungyoun agreed, abandoning the song half way. Thank god there was Yohan to carry on the performance.

«What? It’s not necessary,» Wooseok tried to take control of the situation, while his brain was starting to send alarm signals to his whole body. He really couldn’t afford to spend time alone with Seungyoun. He didn’t want to! He just couldn’t!

«It really is not necessary, our neighborhood is very safe… _ow_!» Junho tried to help Wooseok out, very innocently and unaware of everything, but apparently someone had “accidently” kicked him.

«Go, go,» Seungwoo encouraged Wooseok and Seungyoun, smiling with his happy tight-lipped smile, and Wooseok just wanted to die at that point.

«You don’t have to…» Wooseok tried again in a complete state of mental panic, talking directly to Seungyoun for the first time that night, but Seungyoun was already putting on his jacket.

«I can help you to carry more beers and more things to eat,» he said, smiling reassuringly. «See y’all in a while!» He then announced to all the people in the living room before walking out of the apartment.

_Oh my God._

*******

While walking to the mini-market down the street, they didn’t talk much. Or at least, Wooseok tried hard not to start a conversation, and Seungyoun was weirdly quiet, too. Wooseok made sure to keep at least a meter of distance from the other, because Seungyoun’s proximity made him feel weirdly nervous, for some reason. They just briefly consulted each other on what to buy at the mini-market, then they had a short quarrel on who had to pay, and they ended up splitting the bill in half.

Seungyoun decided to break the silence only when they were going back, carrying in shopping bags an embarrassing amount of beers, soju and snacks. 

«Wooseokie, what can I do to make you stop being mad at me?» He asked, unexpectedly, making Wooseok snort, as if that question was plain ridiculous. 

«I’m not mad at you,» Wooseok answered, and it’s not like he was lying either. He wasn’t angry at Seungyoun. He wasn’t angry at all, actually. He didn’t care.

«Yah, you won’t even look at me in the eyes or talk to me,» Seungyoun sighed. «It’s just that admitting that you are angry hurts your pride,» he continued after a pause and, judging by the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was expecting that answer from Wooseok. If until a moment before Wooseok wouldn’t have considered himself “angry”, now he was definitively pissed off.

«You really think you know me so well, don’t you?» Wooseok said, sarcasm dripping from his voice, and it was kind of surprising the way Seungyoun sounded so calm and confident as he said, «I told you, I’m your human lie detector. And, anyway, it’s true that I know a lot of things about you that others don’t.»

And Seungyoun was right, in a way. Wooseok had always been himself during sex with Seungyoun, almost in a brutal way; very open about what he wanted and what he liked, honest about his desires and fantasies. He let a hidden side of himself emerge, one that even Yohan, his best friend, wasn’t aware of. But what Wooseok felt and thought on a deeper mental level… Seungyoun had no idea about any of that.

«You’re wrong. You don’t know me at all,» Wooseok stated, coldly, and started to walk faster. He wanted to get home as soon as possible and end that useless conversation. He felt awkward and weird and he didn’t like that. Seungyoun was way faster than him with his longer legs, though. It took him just a second to reach Wooseok and place himself in front of him, preventing him from going anywhere. 

«Maybe you’re right, because I really have no idea why you’re so mad,» Seungyoun said and he looked painfully serious in that moment.

«Fine,» Wooseok hissed. He felt himself breaking into a million pieces under Seungyoun’s gaze. «You dumped me like an idiot after not giving me attentions for weeks because you were fooling around with your boyfriend or whatever. That hurt my pride and caught me unprepared. You could give me some time in advance to adjust to it, at least,» Wooseok blurted out, talking maybe too fast. His voice, usually low and raspy, came out higher than usual, and it usually happened when he was out of his own mental and emotional control, which definitely wasn’t a good sign. 

That was probably a side of Wooseok that Seungyoun had never seen before, because he was looking at the other with a quite surprised face.

«You’re acting like you’re my employer or something, you sound ridiculous right now,» Seungyoun then commented in disbelief, making Wooseok roll his eyes.

«And so? We had a deal,» Wooseok blurted again, but maybe he shouldn’t have, because in that moment for the first time since their “break up”, Seungyoun looked actually pissed by Wooseok’s overall attitude. Something had snapped inside of him.

«A deal?» He repeated, his voice was cold. «I’ve never made a deal with you, I just fucked you without feelings involved like you wanted.»

The strength that those words carried made Wooseok take a step back. He didn’t expect Seungyoun to tell him something so sharp and straightforward, so brutally honest. He, who never liked to talk about their weird relationship as sex friends in those terms… 

Then Wooseok realized that they had already reached that point and he had nothing to lose anymore. He took a couple of confident steps forward. Now they were so close that Wooseok could actually _feel_ the other’s presence and warmth right on his skin, getting goose bumps. He wished that they could be even closer than that, he wished that their bodies could be against each other, preferably naked on a bed. 

«You’re right. It’s what I wanted from you,» Wooseok stated, reaching out his hand to fix Seungyoun’s hair that the cold wind of December had messed up a bit. «And I still want it,» he continued in a low whisper, but Seungyoun moved away from Wooseok’s touch, looking away from him, like now being close to Wooseok hurt him.

«Stop it,» Seungyoun just said, flatly, before turning around and starting to walk again towards Wooseok’s apartment, where a birthday party was still waiting for them.

While silently watching Seungyoun walk away from him after refusing him _again_ , Wooseok felt something inside himself break. So, after all, Seungyoun didn’t want Wooseok back for real. So, after all, he didn’t care anymore. So, after all, Wooseok was left alone with his unrequited and desperate need to have Seungyoun as his friend with benefits again. 

Wooseok couldn’t believe that he was actually humiliating himself until that point when he asked, loud enough to be heard from Seungyoun who was walking some meters in front of him, «Is Han Seungwoo really that better than me?»

Seungyoun stopped in his tracks and just sighed, without turning around. «Let’s go back inside. It’s cold,» he said and then started to walk again, leaving Wooseok there, burning with shame. 

For the rest of the night, Seungyoun acted like nothing had happened at all. He kept smiling, laughing, being his usual loud and outgoing self, but Wooseok couldn’t do that. He excused himself and went to his room, where he kept his painkillers for the migraine. He felt like dying. But then, while looking for painkillers inside one of his drawers, he found also the piece of paper with the phone number that the cute café waiter had given him that same morning. 

Alright. Fuck it. He took his phone out of the pocket of his pants and saved the guy’s number. It was past midnight, but he guessed that he still could send the other a text.

_“Hi ☺ I’m the guy from the coffee shop, remember?”_

Surprisingly the answer came faster than expected: _“Of course! Hi! I didn’t think you would contact me!”_

Wooseok smiled. It was finally time for him to move on once and for all from Cho Seungyoun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading so far! And, as usual, very special thanks to all the 75 (wow!) people who left kudos on the first chapter and to those who left comments, too!   
> I really hope you enjoyed this second chapter as well. I know, there are still conflicts and Wooseok comes off as an ass at times, ahah. But he'll get better, I promise! The next chapter is the last one and I hope to update pretty soon (in a week or so).  
> Thank you again and... see you soon!


	3. Old vs New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Finally... I'm a bit late (forgive me) but FINALLY the third and final chapter is here! It took me forever to write it, it's extremely long, almost 13k words... and I'm not even completely satisfied with it, to be totally honest. But I can't keep rewriting things, so I've decided that this is the fic's final form, ahah. I really hope you guys will like it.  
> Also, there's something I haven't specified in the previous chapters, but I want you all to know that in this AU all the characters are older than their real age. For example, Junho is 20 here.  
> Enjoy!

Kang Siwoo, 24 years old, college student and part-timer in a café. That was everything that Wooseok cared enough to learn about the younger male who, on a Saturday morning, had hit on him in a rather cheesy way with a heart-shaped cappuccino and a phone number scribbled down on a small piece of paper. 

They spoke through the phone just a couple of times before Wooseok just asked the other to meet in person for a drink, although Wooseok hoped for something else. That Siwoo guy probably hoped for something more… interesting, too. After all, Wooseok had been extremely clear with Siwoo from the very beginning: he didn’t want to date or establish a relationship of any kind, he just wanted to enjoy himself. If Siwoo wanted something deeper than a drink and an occasional one night stand with Wooseok, he didn’t let it show. Actually, he sounded quite eager to have some fun. To Wooseok it was perfectly fine.

They decided to meet in gay club in Itaewon, but Wooseok decided which one and let Yohan know, just for safety. Wooseok chose a quite loud club that made decent cocktails and drinks, because he didn’t feel like talking that much. So, Wooseok learned another couple of things about Siwoo.

First of all, he was a responsible person. He didn’t drink because he had to drive to go home. It wasn’t the same for Wooseok, though, who was already at his third drink of the night and was starting to feel quite tipsy. Or maybe he was already downright drunk, because, all of sudden, he was talking about Seungyoun to the guy who was supposed to be his sex partner for the night, like a complete fool.

«So he decided to stop being your friend with benefits because now he has a hot and tall boyfriend?» Siwoon was asking Wooseok, almost screaming in order to make himself be heard over the loud music of the club. They were sitting at a table on the second floor, trying to distance themselves from the mess on first floor, but it was still too loud. Wooseok had chosen that club for that exact reason. They weren’t supposed to _talk_.

«Yeah! My friend told me the guy was tall, but why _that_ tall? Isn’t it unfair towards short people? I call this discrimination!» Wooseok yelled back at the other, before taking another sip of his weird bright cocktail… he didn’t even know what the heck he was drinking at that point. «Oh, and I’m not talking about me. My height is perfectly fine,» Wooseok then added, because he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was bothered by the fact Han Seungwoo was tall while he wasn’t.

Siwoo then laughed. «I like your height,» he said, still smiling. Then, after a moment of pause, he added, «But why are you so worked up over this fuck buddy of yours and his boyfriend? Do you like him?»

Wooseok choked on his cocktail and started to cough, hitting Siwoo on the arm as he tried not to die. «Of course not! Have you been listening to me at all?! I said that he’s an asshole who discriminates on short people!» Wooseok complained once he could speak and breathe again.

«Alright, but I don’t understand why you’re complaining? It’s not like he was your boyfriend or anything,» Siwoo continued and it was obvious from his face that he didn’t find the topic of conversation actually interesting or worth of his time. He probably thought that Wooseok was being unreasonable. Wooseok knew that the other had a point. Wooseok would have found it annoying, too, in his place. 

Siwoo was right: why was Wooseok even wasting his time by talking about Seungyoun when he had promised not to even think about him anymore? Fuck Cho Seungyoun.

«Let’s dance,» Wooseok said, getting up from the couch to reach the dance floor and let himself go. The alcohol and the music did wonder on his not exactly sober mind. He and Siwoo started to dance seductively one against the other, and despite the fact Wooseok kept thinking that Siwoo wasn’t his type, he still found the younger man attractive under the lights of the club. When Siwoo put his hands on Wooseok’s waist and whispered against his ear how beautiful he was, Wooseok thought to be sufficiently turned on. 

Siwoo had a motorbike. That was the second thing that Wooseok had learned about Siwoo that night, when they walked out of the club and Siwoo led him to his very cool and expensive looking bike, black and shiny. It definitely was different from Seungyoun’s BMW; Wooseok thought that when he put on the helmet that Siwoo offered him. And definitely more cold, as he learned when he put himself on the back seat of the bike and they drove away, towards Wooseok’s apartment. The freezing cold of December was cutting through the relatively light coat he had decided to wear that night, not expecting at all a ride on a bike. Wooseok could admit he was quite drunk, so the fact he still found in himself the lucidity to tell Siwoo where he was supposed to go, somehow amazed him.

Once they reached Wooseok’s apartment and he get off the bike, he hoped not to throw up right there and then. He tried to smile at Siwoo as he asked, «Do you want to come inside for… some tea?»

Siwoo snorted. «Are you sure? You look a bit drunk to me.»

«And so? I make amazing tea even when I’m drunk,» he said, suggestively, making Siwoo laugh once again. Siwoo finally agreed, and they walked inside Wooseok’s condo and took the lift to reach his apartment on the 5th floor without talking or even looking at each other.

Thank God that night both Yohan and Junho were out, because Wooseok wasn’t exactly sober enough to worry about not making noises or… being decent in general. 

«Nice apartment. Do you live here alone? You said you’re an architect so you probably get paid well, no?» Siwoo asked as Wooseok led him to his bedroom, probably trying to make conversation to break the awkward atmosphere.

«I have two roommates. I could be a millionaire and I’d still have roommates. I don’t like living alone,» Wooseok admitted, shrugging, and then he decided that it was time to stop talking for real. 

He turned towards Siwoo and got closer to him. They started to undress each other, but Siwoo’s hands were so big and cold against Wooseok’s skin (when Seungyoun’s hands were so adorably short and always warm, they made Wooseok’s skin burn). Siwoo started to leave wet and hungry kisses on Wooseok’s neck (when Seungyoun’s kisses were always soft, hot, in the spots that made Wooseok sigh with desire and anticipation). Siwoo smelled like expensive perfume for men, a strong and fresh fragrance that only worsened Wooseok’s persistent headache (when Seungyoun’s scent inebriated him when he was turned on and lulled him to sleep when he was feeling down). Then Siwoo tried to kiss Wooseok on the lips, but Wooseok immediately moved away.

«I told you. I don’t kiss,» Wooseok chided the other. It was weird, because although not kissing was one of his weird rules, Wooseok had still allowed Seungyoun to kiss him, when the latter felt like kissing, and Wooseok had always enjoyed it; in that moment, though, he actually hated the idea that Siwoo could kiss him on the lips. 

It’s not like there was a problem with Siwoo, though, he had a great body. Wooseok could tell that he was the type to spend a lot of time at the gym. Wooseok liked that. Judging by the bulge inside his underwear, he was already hard and nothing special. It was okay, Wooseok had seen far worse. Just, paces didn’t match: Wooseok wanted to go a bit slower, he wanted to let Siwoo understand what he liked, but the younger one kept kissing and biting and licking Wooseok in a rather sticky and overwhelming way. It looked like Siwoo wanted to eat Wooseok, but not in the sexy way Seungyoun used to. He didn’t like it.

Wooseok didn’t know why, maybe because he was drunk, but he wasn’t really into it. He wasn’t turned on. So, maybe exactly because he was so drunk, he got an idea to spice things up.

«Yah, do you want to play a game?» Wooseok asked with a cunning smile on his lips. Siwoo looked at him, confused.

«What game?»

Wooseok didn’t answer, he just got up from the mattress and took out from under his bed the box that Seungyoun had brought to him not long after their “break up”, the one containing all his sex toys. Among them all, he chose the one that immediately caught his eye and that carried the most vivid memory; the dog collar.

«Yah, are you kidding me right now?» Siwoo asked, laughing in disbelief.

«I’m not,» Wooseok mumbled in a drunk slur, while placing the collar around the other’s neck. 

«So what now, am I supposed to be an animal?» Siwoo asked, obviously amused, and Wooseok rolled his eyes: he was supposed to shut up. Dogs didn’t talk, after all. To make him understand who was in charge, Wooseok grabbed the chain and pulled at it with decision, making Siwoo almost stumble forward on the mattress.

«You’re a very well trained puppy who follows his owner’s orders,» Wooseok said in seductive whisper against Siwoo’s ear, repeating the exact same words he had told Seungyoun the last time they had had sex.

«Is this your kink or something?» Siwoo asked again. He was smiling so widely. He really couldn’t take that little game seriously or just shut up. It was kind of annoying.

«I like to play,» Wooseok just replied, shrugging. 

«Ah, I see,» Siwoo agreed, then he clenched his fists like they were dog paws and place them under his chin. If Wooseok couldn’t believe his eyes at that view, he couldn’t believe his ears either when the dude just lamely imitated a dog with a ridiculous «Woof, woof!» before laughing again.

 _Oh no_. Wooseok was starting to feel nauseous again. He really hated to throw up and he usually wasn’t the type to do so even when he was completely wasted. Those damn colorful weird cocktails…

«Nevermind,» Wooseok then sighed, giving up. «I’m sorry but I don’t feel like doing this anymore.»

«What?!» Siwoo blurted, a completely shocked expression on his face. 

«Sorry,» Wooseok just mumbled, before getting up from the bed and starting to run towards the bathroom, where he finally let himself go. Disgusting. He hated throwing up more than anything else.

Just when Wooseok was rinsing his mouth from the sink, Siwoo appeared in front of the entrance of the bathroom, but he didn’t get any closer than that. He had already put his jeans back on (the bulge still visible) and was about to put on his shirt as well.

«You know what? You aren’t completely normal,» Siwoo declared, making Wooseok chuckle as if that was the funniest thing ever. «I’m glad at least you find this funny. You should call your fuck buddy or whatever the fuck he is. I’m sure he’s a perfect dog,» Siwoo added, obviously pissed off, before walking out of Wooseok’s apartment and life way sooner than expected. They didn’t even fuck once!

Damn. Wooseok had messed up a big time. Seungyoun actually was the best dog, though. 

Maybe it was because he was still drunk and weak and his temples were pulsing painfully and his mind was extremely foggy, but for the first time in like a month and a half, Wooseok finally realized (or maybe _accepted_ ) that he really missed Seungyoun. _His puppy_. He missed him to death. He missed Seungyoun’s touch, his body, his scent, his warmth, his big comfortable bed and his expensive foreign car. But he also missed his smile, his voice that sometimes was too high and loud, his positivity and his lame jokes. Wooseok missed how genuinely nice Seungyoun was. How honest he was. How caring he was. He had always put so much care into every single moment spent with Wooseok, and Wooseok just took him for granted in return.

Wooseok put on Seungyoun’s ugly orange hoodie, which was slowly losing Seungyoun’s scent. He went to bed, curled himself under the sheets and took in his hands the phone that was resting on top of the bedside table next to him. His cloudy brain wasn’t exactly functioning correctly when he opened KakaoTalk, scrolled through his contacts and tapped on Seungyoun’s chat, typing clumsily a simple _“I miss you.”_

It felt nice to get that out of his system. The fact he missed Seungyoun felt more real now, almost tangible. He didn’t even notice the fact he had accidentally sent the text for real, he was so sleepy and tired that he couldn’t keep his eyes open, everything around him wasn’t clear anymore… before he could realize, he was already asleep.

*******

Yohan was in a good mood that morning. He had an amazing and fun time with Hangyul the night before. He had come back home quite late and he had his taekwondo practice early in the morning, so he felt a bit sleepy, but it was worth it. Yohan was happy. So happy that he was preparing breakfast for himself and his roommates, too, which was quite a rare thing. It was a nice day. It was really cold, but the sun was shining so brightly in the clear light blue sky. Not even a cloud. He felt like nothing could go wrong, when…

«AAAAAHHH!»

Yohan immediately hurried out of the kitchen and stopped in his tracks to meet Junho’s gaze, who was sitting at the dining table playing a random mobile game on his phone, waiting for the breakfast to be ready. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds with a half surprised and a half concerned expression on their faces, before the both of them rushed to Wooseok’s bedroom, because the scream could come only from there. Yohan quickly opened the door of Wooseok’s bedroom to find the latter curled up into a ball on his bed, agonizing; his face was hidden under the sheets, as if he was trying to hide himself from a monster who had just come out from under the bed. There weren’t monsters in the room, though. Just Wooseok’s phone on the floor.

«Hyung! Are you okay?!» Yohan cried, worried, as he and Junho got closer to the oldest of the three. He sat next to Wooseok on the bed, shaking his hyung with maybe too much strength, but he couldn’t help it, he was kind of panicking. 

«Hyung! Talk to me! Are you sick?!» Yohan was basically screaming his lungs out at that point, but Wooseok was deadly silent, immobile, his head won’t come out from under the sheets. Junho’s attention, though, was on something else. Wooseok’s phone on the floor was still unlocked, showing on the screen a KakaoTalk chat. Curious, Junho picked up the phone to give it a better look.

«Oh, fuck.»

Yohan stopped shaking Wooseok’s body like his life depended on it and turned around to look at Junho with a completely distraught face. «What?!» He asked, hysterically. Junho let Yohan see Wooseok’s phone, and then everything became clear.

_“I miss you.”_

The last message Wooseok had sent to Seungyoun was there, more powerful than a Tsunami. Seungyoun had even visualized the message but there was still no reply (understandably so).

«Hyung, you almost gave me a heart attack! I thought it was something serious!» Yohan whined, completely exhausted, hitting Wooseok’s butt so powerfully that Wooseok yelped in pain and his head finally emerged from under the sheets. 

«It _is_ serious!» Wooseok yelled. He looked maybe even more distraught than Yohan in that moment, which was a rare sight. Wooseok almost never lost his cool. «What am I going to do now? He’s even seen it already… what do I do?» He cried, putting his hands in his hair and hiding his face in the pillow. He had never felt more embarrassed and humiliated in his whole life before. He couldn’t believe he had allowed his drunk self to do something so idiotic and self-degrading. He couldn’t even bring himself to imagine what Seungyoun was thinking in that moment.

«Why did you even send that message in the first place?» Junho asked, sighing. He was probably thinking that Wooseok was an idiot, too.

«It was an accident! I was completely wasted last night!» Wooseok tried to defend himself, making Junho sigh again.

«At this point, you can either act like nothing has happened at all, or send him another message saying that it was a mistake and the message was meant for someone else,» Junho suggested, speaking like he was a lecturer holding a special class for a particularly slow student. Wooseok then slowly nodded his head, as if Junho’s words just enlightened him.

«Yeah, I’m going to do that,» Wooseok declared, grabbing his phone from Junho’s hands and starting to type immediately. Now it was Yohan’s turn to sigh and roll his eyes, exasperated. 

«Hyung… he’ll never believe that, you know, right?» Yohan said, but Wooseok wasn’t listening to him.

_“Hi, I’m really sorry. Yesterday night I was drunk and sent you that text by mistake, I wanted to send it to my mom. Really sorry!”_

Wooseok sent the message to Seungyoun confidently, feeling a lot relieved. He sighed deeply, hoping that Junho’s advice could actually save his ass, when… he noticed that there was something weird in the air.

«Yah… what is this smell? Is something burning?» Wooseok asked and, before he could even realize what was going on, Yohan was already running and screaming, «Fuck! My breakfast!»

So, because of Wooseok’s breakdown, Yohan’s breakfast was ruined, and Wooseok knew that Yohan was going to be pissed at him for a while. It was already quite late, there was no time to prepare Yohan’s elaborated breakfast all over again, so they just grabbed something to eat quickly before getting ready and head out of the house. Actually, Wooseok decided to have breakfast with just a couple of painkillers. His head was torturing him again and so was his stomach.

«I suppose that your date with that barista guy didn’t go well?» Yohan asked Wooseok later, when the younger felt nice enough (or better, pitied him enough) to grant Wooseok a ride to the architecture firm in his car. That was in reality Yohan’s dad’s old car and it smelled like cheap air freshener and Wooseok couldn’t stand it, but it was still better than the metro full of people at that hour in the morning.

«It was a disaster,» Wooseok admitted with a grimace and clicking his tongue at the quite unpleasant memory. Yohan sighed again.

«Why? From what you told me, he sounded like a nice guy.»

«He is a decent guy, indeed,» Wooseok said, shrugging. «It’s just that we aren’t compatible. He couldn’t turn me on.»

«Yah, seriously, is there a guy who can turn you on who isn’t Seungyounie-hyung?!» Yohan asked, and it was obvious from his face and voice that he couldn’t stand Wooseok’s absurdity anymore.

«It’s plenty of guys who can turn me on. I don’t care about Seungyoun,» Wooseok lied, just because, as Yohan pulled over the car in front of Wooseok’s workplace.

«Hyung, when we are drunk we usually do things that we wouldn’t do when we were sober. From my point of view, the fact that you sent Seungyounie-hyung that text means that you _really_ miss him. You should call him,» Yohan was saying, trying to be the reasonable and mature one between the two of them despite being younger, but Wooseok wasn’t listening. He was already taking his bag and opening the car door to get out.

«Whatever,» he just stated, uninterested. «Thanks for the ride, Yohanie. See you tonight.»

But if Wooseok could just ignore Yohan, he couldn’t ignore Seungyoun’s new Instagram story: just a sentence on a black background: _“I wish I could tell you…”_

Tell what? To who? What was going on? Wooseok just pretended that he hadn’t secretly hoped that it had to do with his text and tried to act like he didn’t care at all. 

The truth was that maybe Wooseok cared, after all. And he had reached a point where he couldn’t ignore his headache anymore. Things started to get hectic at work, too, and he was tired. He often got home late, with his headache drumming incessantly against his skull, and he was just so exhausted because of the pain in his temples, that he would simply go to bed without eating most of the times. He could admit that he was skipping maybe more meals than necessary, he was losing weight against his will, and maybe it was time for him to actually go to the hospital and see a doctor. 

«Hyung, not even your pretty face can save you anymore. You look sick,» Junho told Wooseok a night, about a week after the disastrous night where Wooseok had sent that “I miss you” text to Seungyoun. Wooseok could agree with Junho’s point, though. That had probably been the worst week of his life. And he desperately wished that his stupid subconscious would just stop waiting for a reply or any kind of signal from Seungyoun, like a complete fool. Seungyoun hadn’t replied to Wooseok’s texts, obviously. He wasn’t even much active on SNS in that last period.

December 18th. That morning the weather was really cold and gloomy and Wooseok woke up feeling like it was the right day to just stay in bed. He felt horrible. But he still had to go to work, his presence was needed and he was just too responsible and hard working to call in sick. So he put all his strengths into getting up from the bed and get ready for the long day at work. 

He actually looked sick, maybe he had a fever, too. He realized how bad he looked in other people’s eyes only when one of the employees in his department, Park Hyerim, looked up at him and gasped.

«Oh my God, Kim Wooseok-ssi, are you okay?» She asked, genuinely concerned, and Wooseok tried to smile as he answered, «Yeah, thank you.»

Actually, he wasn’t okay at all. He couldn’t focus on anything. He had to go on a construction site to check on a new building that had to be finalized quite soon (reason why his working schedules were so hectic lately), but when he got up from the chair in front of his desk, his view started to be unclear. Oh fuck. His head was spinning. His legs were wobbling… he took a deep breath, trying to focus and to calm himself down, but when he tried to walk, his brain and his coordination failed him. He felt suffocating… everything became black, and then he couldn’t hear or feel anything at all either.

*******

The first thing Wooseok did when he opened his eyes again, was to groan loudly. He felt like someone had hit him on the head with a very heavy hammer. His eyes burnt, but when he could focus enough to actually see his surroundings, he realized that the room wasn’t familiar. It wasn’t his office, it wasn’t his bedroom either.

Fuck. He was in a hospital room.

«Wooseokie, are you awake? Can you hear me?» Someone was saying, and if Wooseok’s surroundings weren’t familiar to him, that voice was familiar for sure. Whoever was talking to him sounded exactly like Seungyoun. Was he having hallucinations? When Wooseok turned his head to his left and could finally see the source of the voice, he realized that the person sitting at his bedside looked a lot like Seungyoun, too.

«Seungyounie?» Wooseok whispered with his hoarse voice and damn… his voice was literally resounding in his brain. 

The hallucination that looked and sounded a lot like Seungyoun smiled softly down at him. His expression was so sweet. So full of fondness. It was probably a dream.

«How do you feel?» Dream-Seungyoun asked, almost in a whisper. Like he didn’t want to ruin the quietness of the moment.

«Like shit,» Wooseok admitted, gaining a soft chuckle from Dream-Seungyoun. «Are you a dream?» Wooseok asked, just because he wanted to know how to act depending on the answer. Dream-Seungyoun chuckled again.

«I’m not. I’m real,» Seungyoun answered, pinching Wooseok’s cheek delicately, as if he was trying to prove the fact he was actually there and it wasn’t a dream. Wooseok sighed. He wasn’t dreaming. It wasn’t Dream-Seungyoun, it was Real-Seungyoun. 

«What happened?» Wooseok decided to ask, because apparently he was in a hospital room for real and had an IV attached to his arm. That wasn’t a good sign.

«You don’t remember? You passed out while you were at work and hit your head against your desk. You have a concussion,» Seungyoun explained, speaking slowly.

«Really? I can’t remember anything,» Wooseok mumbled, passing a hand over his eyes. He only had vague memories of getting out bed that morning and heading to work, but the rest was like a gigantic black void in his brain. But at least that explained why his head hurt so much, and not only because of his headache.

«Mh, the doctor said that you could feel confused or experience memory loss,» Seungyoun said and he looked worried. He got closer, looking at Wooseok’s face more attentively, and then brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen over Wooseok’s right eye. Even that small touch and that closeness made Wooseok’s heart flutter. Having Seungyoun there, in that hospital room with him, made him forget even of his headache and every other discomfort he could feel in his body. Seungyoun was like a medicine.

«Why are you here?» Wooseok decided to ask, because his memory could be confused in that moment, but he could still recall the fact he thought that Seungyoun didn’t care about him anymore, especially after their last conversation on the night of Hangyul’s birthday party. 

Apparently, Wooseok was wrong, though, because Seungyoun looked and sounded so sincere, so sweet, when he said, «I came here as soon as Yohan told me what happened. I was worried.»

Then Wooseok realized something. And maybe his brain was processing that piece of information and was accepting it so easily just because he wasn’t completely lucid because of the concussion. He had realized it maybe a bit too late, but there was no use in denying it anymore. He could feel it in every fiber of his body. Wooseok really liked Seungyoun. So much that it hurt.

«Oh, by the way, your parents and your roommates are here, too, they just went to grab something to eat,» Seungyoun quickly explained, but actually Wooseok didn’t care about anyone else in that moment. He could only think about Seungyoun, about the fact he came all the way there for him because he was worried, about his soft touch and his sweet voice. «Wait a moment, I’m going to tell them and the nurse that you’re awake.»

Seungyoun was about to get up from the chair next to the bed, when Wooseok grabbed him by his sweater, preventing him from going anywhere.

«Don’t go,» Wooseok begged the other, and Seungyoun immediately sat down again with a surprised face. Wooseok was surprised by himself, too. His messed up head was making him feel especially brave and especially honest. He didn’t even hesitate to ask, «Were you worried about me? Why?»

«How could I not be worried about you when something like this happened?» Seungyoun sighed. «Yohan told me that you haven’t been eating and sleeping much lately. You lost weight, too... You need to take care of yourself,» he then chided Wooseok, and Wooseok actually thought that, even in the case Seungyoun still cared about him and was willing to take him back even just as simple friend, Wooseok really didn’t deserve him. There were many things he was sorry for, there were many things he had said and done that he wanted to just take back and forget forever.

«Seungyounie, I’m so sorry,» Wooseok’s unfocused brain made him say. Seungyoun looked surprised again.

«Sorry about what?»

«I haven't sent that text by mistake, I... I’ve acted like a complete jerk with you. It’s just that it’s hard for me to accept that you don’t want me anymore… that you’re with someone else,» Wooseok admitted almost in a whisper. He was starting to feel sleepy again. He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore at that point.

«Don’t worry about that now. Let’s talk about it when you’ll feel better,» Seungyoun reassured Wooseok with a smile, caressing his hair gently again, and then he finally got up from the chair to call the nurse.

Seungyoun left the hospital shortly after that, once Wooseok’s parents and roommates had returned, with the promise to call him soon. Wooseok had to stay at the hospital for another couple of days and he spent the whole time just waiting for Seungyoun’s call. 

Anyway, he had to go through a number of checkups to make sure that his concussion wasn’t something more serious and that its after effects weren’t going to be permanent. Luckily for him, no cerebral damage was done, the pieces of memories that he had lost along the way were returning, and his body and head had nothing wrong, as the doctor confirmed to him and his parents. Apparently, his frequent headaches were caused by stress, fatigue, overwork and irregular sleeping schedules. Also, Wooseok’s constant weight loss was worrisome for his health. 

Still, Wooseok earned two whole weeks off from work to rest and recover completely and he had to endure an endless amount of nagging and scolding from his mom, who literally threatened to bring him home with her and not to let him live on his own ever again if he couldn’t look after himself properly. Wooseok just snorted at that and told her that if she was okay with him bringing guys home every time he felt like that, then he could go home with her immediately. She blushed, visibly uncomfortable, and after some more nagging and scolding she gave up on the idea.

Wooseok was open about his sexuality, his parents knew about it, too, but they didn’t exactly approve. He still promised to try to take care of his body and health better just to reassure his parents. Eating and sleeping more, less overthinking and less stress in general. He overestimated himself and had always had this weird conviction to be unbeatable, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t a super hero at all.

Even at home, Wooseok could only think about Seungyoun. It was weird and kind of funny the fact he didn’t have clear memories about the day of the accident but he could still remember clearly his conversation with Seungyoun and the sudden realization of being in love with him. Wooseok was kind of embarrassed, actually. He had said a lot of embarrassing things on that day because of his confused brain, but still he meant everything, he was sincere. He hoped that Seungyoun could feel and accept his honesty. Wooseok even considered calling Seungyoun first, but he didn’t want to be clingy or annoying. He couldn’t allow his newly discovered feelings for Seungyoun to take over him. Seungyoun had a boyfriend now. And Wooseok had been giving Seungyoun conflicting signals from the beginning, first treating him coldly and hurting him with mean words, then sending him “I miss you” texts and then confessing that he couldn’t accept to see him with another man. It was kind of messed up. Seungyoun was most probably very confused by Wooseok’s attitude and, to be very honest, Wooseok was confused, too.

Lying in bed minding his own business, Wooseok didn’t expect it at all when suddenly his two roommates, both significantly higher and bigger than him, had the brilliant idea to walk inside Wooseok’s bedroom and join him on his rather small bed for an unrequested cuddle session.

«Yah, yah, yah! My bed is too small for the three of us!» Wooseok complained loudly as the two boys took place one on his left side and one on his right side, squeezing him between their bodies like they were a gigantic human sandwich. «Do you want to crush me or something?!» 

«You’re too irresponsible. We need to check on you even when you’re asleep,» Yohan chided Wooseok while trying desperately to find a comfortable position on the bed and not to fall off.

«You all are ridiculous and annoying, I’m going to sue you,» Wooseok groaned, visibly upset, but after all, being crushed between two very handsome boys wasn’t really that bad. Wooseok kind of missed human contact. His two roommates were gigantic puppies full of affection who loved cuddles, so Wooseok just let them be because they were cute.

«Yah, this feels quite nice… what about a threesome?» Junho commented after a few seconds of silence, gaining an indignant «Yah, Cha Junho! You’re still a kid!» from Yohan and an amused laugh from Wooseok.

«What do you mean? I’m twenty and you’re just three years older than me,» Junho complained.

«Still a kid!» Yohan yelled, offended. Then his ears became extremely red as he added, «And besides that, I can’t. I have a fantastic boyfriend.»

«You’re so boring,» Junho mocked Yohan. «So just the two of us are left, Wooseokie-hyung,» Junho said with a playful seductive voice, scratching Wooseok’s chin as if he was a kitty, but Wooseok just moved away from the contact and declared firmly, «Sorry, I can’t either.»

«Oh? Why?» Junho asked, surprised. Even Yohan raised his head from the pillow to give a better look at Wooseok, like he didn’t expect it at all.

«I like Seungyounie. I don’t feel like doing it with anyone else,» Wooseok stated flatly, like it wasn’t a big deal. He said it without thinking, because his roommates were his closest friends and it was only natural for him to tell them. Also, saying that he liked Seungyoun out loud felt quite good, almost liberating, but suddenly Yohan was basically jumping on the bed as an overly excited puppy and yelling, «Oh my God! You’re finally admitting it!»

«I can’t believe you had to hit your head in order to realize that you like him!» Junho exclaimed, and he was weirdly excited, too. 

«I’ve been waiting for this moments for years!» Yohan continued, still wagging his invisible tail, then he stopped to wipe his eyes. «Wait, wait, why am I tearing up all of a sudden?!»

Wooseok knew that they were messing up with him so he rolled his eyes, trying to push the both of them off the bed. Too bad they were too heavy. «Yah, you better stop it if you don’t want me to kick your asses,» Wooseok threatened them.

«How did you realize, though?» Junho asked Wooseok. He really looked excited to know all the details.

«I don’t know,» Wooseok admitted, shrugging. «I guess I’ve known for a while now. I was a bit jealous when I saw him with Han Seungwoo but my pride won’t allow me to accept it. I know I can be stubborn. It’s just that… when I woke up at the hospital and saw him next to me I just… thought that I really like him.»

«Aaaahh! I’m getting goose bumps!» Yohan giggled loudly, hugging himself like he couldn’t contain his enthusiasm. «So when are you going to tell him?»

«I don’t think I will. Not this early, at least,» Wooseok answered, crushing down his roommates’ high expectations.

«Why?!» Yohan yelled, exasperated, while Junho just groaned and commented, «Ah, I knew it. We were getting excited for nothing.»

Wooseok rolled his eyes again. «You guys remember that he has a boyfriend, right?»

«Hyung, listen,» Yohan started, very seriously. «At the hospital, Seungyounie-hyung was super worried about you, I swear I’ve never seen him like that before. He was blaming himself, too, because he knew that what happened between you two only caused you more stress. He likes you too, hyung. It’s obvious.»

«I agree. He’s crazy for you. You must be blind not to notice,» Junho confirmed Yohan’s words, nodding his head knowingly. Wooseok, though, wasn’t that sure that Seungyoun returned his feelings. Why would he date someone else and not even confess his feelings if he actually liked Wooseok that much? 

«I don’t know. If he really likes me like you’re saying, then why did he dump me like that to date someone else in the first place? Anyway, I’m not the type to steal someone else’s boyfriend and also…» Wooseok trailed off, realizing something and making Yohan whine again, «What now?!»

«Although now I can admit that I have feelings for him, I’m still not sure I want to be his boyfriend. I don’t like commitment,» Wooseok said and the other two were seriously exasperated at that point.

«You’re so desperate for Seungyoun-hyung that you almost died and you still don’t want to be his boyfriend? You seriously have to sort out your priorities, hyung,» Junho said, exaggerating a bit and gaining a punch on the arm from Wooseok. Yohan, on the other hand, kept a serious face and voice when he spoke again.

«Hyung, I know that your ex was an asshole and hurt you badly, but Seungyounie-hyung is still Seungyounie-hyung. I’ve been telling you that he’d be the perfect boyfriend for you since forever. It’s true that he has decided to stop being your sex friend, but I’m sure there’s a good reason behind that, you really need to talk to him. You can’t avoid love for the rest of your life just because you’re afraid to get hurt again.»

Wooseok couldn’t deny it, Yohan had a point. Still, he wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet, so he just started to push the other two off his bed.

«Okay, okay, I got it. Thank you for this highly unrequested and highly inaccurate psychological session, now leave me alone the both of you, I want to sleep!»

*******

Wooseok officially hated Yohan, because his best friend and roommate always had the incredible ability to make him think too much about things he didn’t want to think about at all. Despite the fact the doctor recommended Wooseok to rest and sleep a lot, Wooseok’s mind won’t rest, even less let him sleep peacefully. Before he could stop himself, he was already traveling backwards through his memories, and now he was thinking about his ex boyfriend again. Indeed, his ex boyfriend and Seungyoun were completely different. 

His ex was a chaebol from a very rich family, like the ones in dramas. He had to hide his sexual preferences from his family in order not to get kicked out of the house and loose his inheritance. Because of that, Wooseok and his ex boyfriend had to meet in complete secrecy, often in cheap love motels. To Wooseok it was okay at first. Things escalated quickly, though, and the guy started to become paranoid, saying that someone who was aiming to inherit the company in his place was conspiring against him and following him around in order to catch him doing “something bad”. That “something bad” meant “dating another man”. Dating Wooseok, more specifically. Still, the time spent together was enjoyable enough to Wooseok to decide to hang in there just for another while. “Another while” became three years, until his ex just dumped him saying that he was going to marry a woman from another powerful family, accepting his father’s plans. 

Thinking about it rationally after some time, Wooseok really didn’t know why he even liked that paranoid loser that much. His ex was handsome, more traditionally handsome than Seungyoun, but the sex with him was just plain boring, sometimes even downright bad and repetitive; the guy was a control freak and would never let Wooseok being in charge of anything in their relationship. Wooseok then wondered if his ex hadn’t guilt-tripped him into staying in that unhealthy relationship for so long. His ex would always repeat how much he loved Wooseok and how he couldn’t live without him. He often cried, saying that he couldn’t imagine his life without Wooseok. Then, after a fight, he would bring Wooseok super expensive gifts from famous brands. He had even offered to pay for Wooseok’s school tuition back then, but Wooseok had refused to maintain intact what was left of his pride. Maybe Wooseok actually believed the other every time he blabbed empty words like, “Once I’ll inherit the company, things will change between us. I’ll try to do better.” How things could even get better for them? It was realistically not possible. What a fool. 

On the other hand, with Seungyoun it was different. Seungyoun was free spirited, always doing what he wanted. He wasn’t the type to hide himself from others or to pretend to be what he wasn’t. He had always introduced Wooseok to his friends and random people he knew without an ounce of hesitation. He had always talked about Wooseok like he was proud of him, like Wooseok was an amazing and talented person. He wasn’t ashamed of Wooseok and their weird relationship at all. He liked to go according to the flow of the moment and Wooseok’s mood, he had never tried to impose himself or being the dominant one, except when Wooseok obviously wanted him to. Seungyoun had natural leadership qualities, and Wooseok tended to follow his lead without feeling any pressure. It was like that during sex, too. Wooseok liked it so much because there weren’t rules in Seungyoun’s bed, and they just allowed themselves to do what they felt like doing in that moment as long as they both enjoyed and wanted it. 

Seungyoun was different. Although fights and break ups were part of a love relationship, it didn’t mean that Seungyoun wasn’t worth it. Yohan was right (again). Wooseok’s bad experience with his idiotic ex boyfriend shouldn’t hold him back from loving someone and being loved back. He really had to talk with Seungyoun about his feelings. Even if Seungyoun was with someone else, even if Seungyoun didn’t want him anymore… he couldn’t hide his love and end up regretting it forever. 

Wooseok was just thinking deeply about all of that, sprawled out on the couch pretending to watch TV, when his phone started to ring, giving him a heart attack. He almost jumped out of the couch when he saw that Seungyoun was the one calling him. His heart was going wild. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, and cleared his throat before answering the phone.

«Hello?»

«Hi. How are you? Do you feel better?» Seungyoun’s crystal clear voice sounded nice through the phone. Wooseok desperately wanted to hear that voice in person.

«Yeah, my head still hurts a bit, but… I’m much better now,» Wooseok answered, curling up on the couch and feeling all emotional and shit. He grabbed a random pillow and brought it to his chest, hugging it. He felt like a middle schooler talking to his crush.

«I’m glad to hear that. Are you home?»

«Yep. I’ve been discharged from the hospital pretty soon, actually. It wasn’t anything serious. Just a bit of… stress and stuff,» Wooseok decided to be vague, talking like it was nothing, but of course Seungyoun was Seungyoun and he knew better. «Yah, it’s not just “a bit of stress and stuff”,» Seungyoun scolded him. «Promise me you’ll sleep well and eat well from now on. You need to rest and being open about your physical and mental state when you’re struggling. Don’t keep everything bottled up.»

Wooseok’s heart fluttered. Seungyoun actually sounded so concerned. It was kind of cute, but he couldn’t show that he thought that, so he pretended to complain. 

«You sound like my mom right now. Everyone keeps nagging at me, even Yohan and Junho.»

«You deserve it. A bit. Just a bit you deserve to be nagged at,» Seungyoun said and, although Wooseok couldn’t see him, he knew that Seungyoun was smiling brightly.

«Alright. Then every time I’ll need to vent out about something, I’ll call you,» Wooseok stated, but he was kidding, actually. He didn’t expect it at all when Seungyoun answered, extremely serious, «Please, do it.»

After that, they stayed quiet for a while. Wooseok was feeling all sort of things in that moment. He had not felt like that in years. Actually, it was probably the first time for him to feel such strong emotions. He had never been like that even with his ex boyfriend.

«Mmmh… actually, I really want to talk to you about something,» Wooseok then mumbled, hiding his face with the pillow.

«Talk? About what?» Seungyoun said, and he was obviously imitating Wooseok, mocking his words and voice from that time Seungyoun had told Wooseok they needed to talk, right before their “break up”.

«Shut up! I’m serious!» Wooseok almost yelled, embarrassed. He couldn’t believe he used to be such an asshole. Seungyoun, though, only laughed brightly at that before saying, «So, what do you want to say?»

«Not now,» Wooseok mumbled. «Later. In person.»

«Alright. I have to tell you something, too, anyway. Let’s meet up when you’ll feel better,» Seungyoun agreed, and then Wooseok remembered something.

«It’s Christmas in a few days. Do you have any plans?» Wooseok realized too late that it was a very dumb question to ask to someone who had a boyfriend. «Oh, right. You’re probably going to spend the day with Han Seungwoo. Sorry.»

«Don’t worry, Seungwoo-hyung is busy. We can meet on Christmas day, if you’re free,» Seungyoun reassured him and Wooseok agreed but, at the same time, he couldn’t avoid to wonder how come Seungwoo was so busy on a national holiday that he and Seungyoun weren’t even going to spend the day together. In Korea, most young people spent Christmas day with their significant other, as a sort of second Valentine’s day. Actually, Seungyoun and Seungwoo had an atypical relationship, in Wooseok’s opinion. They were very rarely together, maybe because they both were busy because of their respective jobs. Even on SNS, they almost never posted pictures together and they often hung out in group with other people. Wooseok brushed those thoughts off, thinking that most probably Seungwoo wasn’t open about his sexuality or just liked to have some privacy, and to Wooseok it was perfectly understandable. He had hidden his relationship with his ex boyfriend for three whole years, and most gay people in Korea lived like that, after all. And anyway, _whatever_. It wasn’t none of his business. 

Then Christmas Eve came around and, after two days at the hospital and four whole days locked at home, Wooseok couldn’t stand it anymore. Sure: eating, watching TV and trying to sleep for more than a few hours all day felt nice, but after a while it just became too much. His head didn’t hurt that much anymore and he wasn’t even getting headaches in those last few days, he felt quite relaxed. He was doing pretty well and wanted to take a breath of fresh air. 

He decided to go out for dinner. Alone, since his roommates were both busy with their dates and whatnot. He did a long session of skincare (his stressed skin really needed it), took a shower and put on a decent outfit. He felt like a brand new person afterwards. He looked very good, definitely better than before.

He opted for a nice and cozy restaurant not too far away from home, one of his favorites. Actually, Seungyoun had made him discover that place some months before and he immediately fell in love with it. As expected, the restaurant was in a full Christmas mood. Christmas lights and trees were everywhere, and the atmosphere was definitely romantic and intimate. Most of the customers were couples; Wooseok felt a bit out of place being there all alone. He wished for Seungyoun to be there with him, but it was okay, because they were going to meet and talk about everything the next day, anyway. 

Wooseok just smiled briefly at the thought as the waiter politely escorted him to a free table in a corner; then, Wooseok distractively looked to his left and he stopped in his tracks. Sitting at a table not far away from where Wooseok was standing, there was someone who looked very familiar. Wooseok could recognize that long nose and those bangs falling over the eyes everywhere. Han Seungwoo was having dinner with another man who definitely wasn’t Seungyoun, someone with a nice smile and cute dimples. If for a moment Wooseok thought that maybe they were just friends having dinner together, he realized that something was definitely off when dimple-boy took Seungwoo’s hand in his and they smiled lovingly at each other.

«Sir?» The waiter called out for Wooseok, who was just standing there completely still. Wooseok didn’t even hear him. Wooseok knew that it was none of his business, but before he could stop himself, he was already walking towards Seungwoo’s table. 

«Excuse me,» Wooseok said when he stopped in front of the couple. He was so angry that his whole body was trembling. His voice came out weird, too. But “angry” wasn’t even the most appropriate word. He was so destabilized that he could barely breathe. 

Seungwoo looked up at Wooseok and, when he recognized him, his eyes became big out of surprise. Seungwoo opened his mouth but no sound came out. So, Wooseok decided to speak in his place, «What the fuck does this mean?»

«Yah, do you know him?» Dimple-boy asked, visibly confused, but Seungwoo ignored him. 

«Wooseok-ssi, let me explain,» Seungwoo finally said. Those words only made Wooseok more angry and, damn, if only Seungwoo wasn’t that tall and muscular, Wooseok would have punched him in the face for having the nerve to cheat on Seungyoun.

«Explain? What is there to explain? How dare you to do this to Seungyounie?»

Seungwoo sighed deeply, getting up from the chair to stand in front of Wooseok and look down at him with a very apologetic expression.

«Wooseok-ssi…» Seungwoo started off, as if it was really hard for him to say what he was about to say. «I’m sorry that you have to find out the truth this way, really, but I’m not Seungyoun’s boyfriend. We have never been really together. I was just playing along to help him out.»

At first, Wooseok thought that he hadn’t heard correctly and blurted out a completely astonished «What?». He then thought that maybe Seungwoo was just joking around, that he wasn’t really serious, but then why wasn’t he laughing? And why Wooseok didn’t find it funny at all? Wooseok didn’t know how to react and what to say, he was just very confused. Everything his brain could register was that Seungyoun had lied and Seungwoo supported him, but why?

«… Help him with what?» Wooseok decided to ask Seungwoo, and the latter looked very conflicted. He bit his bottom lip before saying, «It has to do with you.»

Well, that was a given. It didn’t answer any question, though, and Wooseok had a lot of questions in that moment.

«That’s why I’m asking. Tell me.»

Seungwoo sighed once again, exasperated. «Listen, it’s not my place to tell you the whole story; this is something only between you and Seungyoun. You two really need to talk it out like two mature people.»

Seungwoo had a point: the only person who could answer to Wooseok’s questions was Seungyoun. Too bad that, in that moment, the last thing he wanted to do was to see Seungyoun, when just a few minutes before he had smiled at the thought. 

Wooseok just walked out of the restaurant then. He didn’t feel like eating anymore, it was like there were rocks inside his stomach. It was hard to process the whole thing rationally; Seungyoun and Seungwoo weren’t actually together. They weren’t really boyfriends. Seungyoun had deceived Wooseok for the whole time. 

Wooseok couldn’t even feel the freezing cold of December slapping his face, so he decided to walk home instead of taking a taxi. He needed to get out of his system the tension that he was feeling in every part of his body. 

He snorted loudly at some point, thinking that all the things he had always found “atypical” in Seungyoun and Seungwoo’s relationship now made perfect sense. They weren’t a real couple, so why acting like one? He couldn’t believe he fell for it like a complete idiot. But what was tormenting Wooseok’s brain was the reason behind such a stupid lie. Did Seungyoun hate Wooseok that much? Was Seungyoun so tired of him? Did he think that Wooseok was a stupid pushover or something? 

Wooseok was angry, but it wasn’t the same type of anger that he had felt when he had seen Seungwoo with dimple-boy inside the restaurant. It was a sad type of anger. It was resigned, bitter, and, for the first time since the day of his hospitalization, he was getting another massive headache.

His phone started to ring inside the pocket of his coat. It was Seungyoun, obviously. Seungwoo had most probably called him and told him everything. Wooseok turned off his phone, deciding that it wasn’t the right time to confront the other. But, when he finally reached home and saw Seungyoun standing there, in front of the entrance of the building waiting for him, like a bittersweet déjà-vu, Wooseok thought that he should have expected it.

It was kind of annoying the way Wooseok’s brain was reacting at the view of Seungyoun, making him feel like his heart was about to burst, even more when Seungyoun’s eyes finally landed on him. Wooseok tried to keep his cool and ignore the other, not even sparing him a glance as he walked past him, but Seungyoun was already getting closer to Wooseok, telling him with urgency, «Wooseokie, let’s talk.» 

«I don’t want to. I have nothing to say to a liar who deceived me,» Wooseok answered, voice colder than ice. Seungyoun called out Wooseok’s name, a desperate note in his voice, and reached out his hand to stop Wooseok from walking away, but the latter just pushed Seungyoun’s hand away. 

«Get lost,» Wooseok hissed, not expecting it at all when, a moment later, Seungyoun grabbed his arm with strength, making him turn around. Wooseok gasped out of surprise when his big eyes met Seungyoun’s. His gaze was sharp, deep, fierce, and Wooseok forgot how to breathe for a moment.

«You can keep avoiding me as much as you want afterwards, but you must hear me out on this, at least,» Seungyoun stated, firm, and then he let Wooseok’s arm go. His gaze softened a bit, too, and he took a deep breath before he started to talk again.

«Right, I told you that I wanted to stop being your friend with benefits because I liked someone else when it’s not true, but about Seungwoo-hyung… I wasn’t technically lying. We have never said to be together, it’s just what everyone assumed.»

«You said it! That time in your car! You said that you were dating the hot and tall dude!» Wooseok almost yelled, his big deer eyes now even bigger out of shock and anger, making Seungyoun sigh loudly, tired.

«“Hot and tall” is a bit generic, don’t you think? Seungwoo-hyung and I weren’t alone in that club in Tokyo, Seungwoo-hyung’s boyfriend was there, too, and he fits the description as well. I said “yes” but actually I didn’t even know who you were referring to.»

Indeed, Wooseok could admit that Seungyoun and Seungwoo had never said with their own mouths to be a couple. Seungyoun had never introduced Seungwoo to his friends as his boyfriend, they had never kissed or acted over-affectionately in public. It was just a big misunderstanding that had started from Yohan spotting them at that club in Tokyo, Seungyoun lying about liking a “hot and tall guy”, and everyone automatically assuming that said “hot and tall guy” was Seungwoo, just because Seungyoun and Seungyoun hadn’t denied it.

«Then why you two agreed to let me believe that you were together?» Wooseok finally decided to ask the most important question, but before he could stop himself, he was already vomiting a lot of words he had never planned to say in the first place, «Do you hate having sex with me so much? Am I that boring? Am I not attractive enough? Fuck you, you’re not that special either.»

Wooseok was so pissed, so humiliated… he was on the verge of tears and it was just so embarrassing… but then, unexpectedly, Seungyoun chuckled and patted affectionately Wooseok’s head. 

«You’re so dumb,» Seungyoun said, softly, gaining a deathly glare and a threatening «Yah…» from Wooseok, who couldn’t believe that the other even had the guts to laugh and pat his head in that moment. Wooseok wanted to hit Seungyoun hard in the face, hurt him for the humiliation, but Wooseok didn’t had the time to do that: Seungyoun took something out of the pocket of his jacket and handed it to Wooseok.

«Take this,» Seungyoun said, and Wooseok realized that it was a relatively small box, black and velvety, and Wooseok’s heart clenched at the view. He kind of suspected what it was, but he still asked, «What is it?»

«Your birthday present. I mean, your _real_ birthday present,» Seungyoun answered with a smile as Wooseok took the box from his hand and opened it. _Ah_ , he knew it. Why was Seungyoun so damn considerate and caring all the times? Why did he have to remember about that stupid (and expensive) necklace that Wooseok once had randomly admitted to like? 

«I wanted to give it to you on your birthday, after taking you home,» Seungyoun said. «I was planning to confess that I like you and ask you to become my boyfriend, but when we started to talk about Yohan and Hangyul’s relationship, you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want anything from me other than sex. I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed a good reason to stop being your sex friend without having to confess my feelings. If I told you that I didn’t enjoy sex with you anymore, you wouldn’t have believed it.»

Wooseok closed the necklace box but he kept looking at it. He couldn’t find the courage to look up at Seungyoun’s eyes. Wooseok knew that he should’ve been happy because he got confirmation that Seungyoun liked him back, but instead he only felt horrible. Wooseok had hurt Seungyoun so badly without even being aware of it. He remembered what he had told Seungyoun that night, in his car: _“That’s why I don’t want to date anyone seriously. You end up losing your independence and focus, you start to neglect even your own very best friend. You become a fool and a loser.”_ Wooseok thought that the least he could do for Seungyoun was to be honest as well.

«I’m not going to lie to you. If you asked me to become your boyfriend back then, I’d have said “no” for sure, and I’d have cut you off from my life,» Wooseok confessed, finally looking into Seungyoun’s eyes. If Seungyoun had decided to confess on the night of Wooseok’s birthday, Wooseok would have refused him without a second thought. Wooseok knew that what made him upset and made him realize his feelings in the first place, was Seungyoun’s rejection. The idea that Seungyoun preferred someone else over him. 

«But the fact you turned me down first changed a lot of things in me. Like I told you that time at the hospital, it has been really hard for me since you decided not to be my friend with benefits anymore. I started to get headaches and, well… I was _a bit_ jealous, too. I treated you coldly and said some really insensitive things... I couldn’t accept that I like you and acted like an asshole, so I guess we are both at fault, somehow.»

Then Seungyoun cupped Wooseok’s face and placed a tender kiss on his forehead before hugging him. Wooseok let Seungyoun do that, losing himself in that protective hug. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Seungyoun’s scent, Seungyoun’s warmth, Seungyoun’s everything. He had missed it so much he felt like crying.

«I’m really sorry, Wooseokie. I kind of knew that you were getting headaches because of me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to you at that point,» Seungyoun whispered, completely honest, and then his expression darkened as he added, «When you ended up at the hospital, I hated myself.»

«That wasn’t your fault, it just happened,» Wooseok reassured the other. Then he looked up at Seungyoun with an angry pout.

«Still, you say that you like me but you lied to me when you know what happened between me and my ex boyfriend, and that I have trust issues because of that,» Wooseok reprimanded Seungyoun.

«You didn’t even want to kiss me and I was desperate. You know I’m not like your ex. I would never do to you what he did,» Seungyoun answered, terribly serious. Wooseok could feel the other’s honesty in every fiber of his body and it felt so nice. Wooseok smiled: so apparently the boy he liked returned his feelings and they were taking significant steps forward in their relationship. They stared into each other’s eyes, Seungyoun’s arms still wrapped around Wooseok’s waist, and Wooseok thought that the atmosphere was perfect for a kiss. 

Only then Wooseok noticed: they were still outside, and literally every passerby could see and hear them. He looked around, and luckily that wasn’t exactly a heavily trafficked street. He had been so lost in the moment that he had completely forgotten about his surroundings. He had to pray again that none of his neighbors had seen them.

«Do you want to come inside? Yohan and Junho aren’t home,» Wooseok then suggested, and Seungyoun’s smile looked so beautiful and bright as he asked back, «For some tea?»

«As always,» Wooseok answered, a sly grin on his lips. Seungyoun laughed, amused, and then they walked inside, without talking, just smiling.

«Have you eaten?» Seungyoun asked as soon as they stepped inside Wooseok’s apartment, while they were taking off their shoes and jackets. 

«No. I wanted to eat at one of my favorite restaurants tonight but someone ruined my plans,» Wooseok answered, sighing loudly. Seungyoun didn’t look apologetic at all with his broad smile as he said, «Sorry.»

«Whatever,» Wooseok mumbled. «What about you? Have you eaten?»

«Not yet. Should we order something?»

Wooseok just hummed in agreement and observed Seungyoun taking his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. 

«What should we eat? Chicken? You love chicken feet. Actually, I haven’t eaten Chinese food in a while, I’d like that. What do you usually eat for Christmas?» Seungyoun was blabbing (he was secretly nervous), but Wooseok wasn’t actually listening to him. He was too distracted by Seungyoun’s presence in his living room, by the fact he was actually there and it wasn’t a dream. Seungyoun liked Wooseok, Seungyoun wanted him, Seungyoun had never chosen someone else over him, Seungyoun was his. And sure as heck, Wooseok wasn’t going to let him go anytime soon. Only then Wooseok remembered that he was still holding the necklace box in his hand. 

«Seungyounie,» Wooseok called the other’s name, stepping closer to him. Seungyoun looked up from his phone, meeting Wooseok’s eyes. «Thank you for the necklace. You remembered about it,» Wooseok said with a small smile, taking the necklace out of the box. It looked so nice. 

«Of course. Luckily you didn’t buy it yourself, I was a bit worried,» Seungyoun admitted, returning the smile. He took the necklace from Wooseok’s hands and helped Wooseok to wear it. 

«It looks nice on you,» Seungyoun murmured once the necklace was in place around Wooseok’s neck, his fingertips grazing delicately the thin silver chain, and then Wooseok’s clavicles, neck, cheek. The touch was giving Wooseok goose bumps all over his body. Wooseok grabbed Seungyoun’s hand, keeping it in place over his cheek, in a silent request for contact. He closed his eyes a moment, abandoning himself to the touch, and realized that his headache was completely gone. When he opened his eyes again, Seungyoun was looking closely at him, serious, his eyebrows slightly frowning. That was the look that he usually had on his face every time they were close to kiss but eventually didn’t. Wooseok realized that Seungyoun was holding himself back.

«Seungyounie, it’s not true that I didn’t want to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you all the times, it’s just that…» Wooseok admitted, in a whisper, but he couldn’t finish the sentence, because Seungyoun’s lips were now on his, kissing him tenderly, innocently, closed lips on closed lips, and Wooseok felt like exploding. They broke the kiss just a moment to look into each other’s eyes, their breathes tangling together, before kissing again, this time with more urgency. Wooseok wrapped his arms around Seungyoun’s neck, while Seungyoun’s hands were placed firmly on Wooseok’s waist, keeping their bodies as close as possible. Wooseok was feeling hot all over. Seungyoun’s soft lips, the touch of his tongue against his, the sweet taste of his mouth… it was addicting. Wooseok didn’t want to stop. 

When they broke the kiss again, Wooseok sighed, ready for another kiss, but Seungyoun smiled down at him softly. «Let’s order dinner, first,» he whispered, making Wooseok roll his eyes. 

«I have other plans,» Wooseok stated, lasciviously. «I’m frustrated. I haven’t had sex in two months.»

Seungyoun looked surprised at that. «You told me you were seeing other people.»

«It was a lie. I tried, but… I only had you in my head,» Wooseok admitted, so embarrassed that he ended up hiding his face against Seungyoun’s chest. He had to muster up all his courage to admit to something like that, he felt like a complete loser, but he thought that at least he wasn’t the only loser when Seungyoun hugged him tightly and whispered against his ear, «It’s the same for me. You can’t imagine how much I want you.»

Seungyoun’s voice and confession sent shivers down Wooseok’s spine, so much that he groaned softly. He was so horny he could get a boner any moment. Seungyoun kissed him again, slowly.

«Still, you have to eat. You are still recovering, you can’t skip meals,» Seungyoun whispered against his lips, and Wooseok sighed, exasperated. 

«Fine,» Wooseok agreed with a disappointed pout, making Seungyoun chuckle. Wooseok knew that Seungyoun would never allow him to skip meals just because they were horny, anyway.

After dinner, Wooseok asked Seungyoun to stay for the night. They couldn’t do it all the way, though, because Yohan and Junho were most probably coming back home soon, and the first rule Wooseok had instituted for a peaceful cohabitation was not to have sex with other people when the roommates were home, so Wooseok had to stick to that rule. The golden time to have glorious make-up sex was definitely gone, at least for that night. Seungyoun didn’t look or sound bothered by it, though. All he cared about was to spend time with Wooseok, he didn’t care in which way. Wooseok found it extremely cute, he was almost moved. 

When Seungyoun walked inside Wooseok’s bedroom, he immediately started to look around like a curious puppy. After all, he had seen Wooseok’s bedroom only a couple of times before, they had always spent most of their time together at Seungyoun’s place. Seungyoun took his time to look at the photos hanging on the walls, the papers and drawings scattered all over the desk, the Bambi plushie that Yohan had gifted Wooseok once after winning it at the claw machine, his computer that looked like the one of a professional gamer, a customized mug with an acrostic poem saying “Our Wooseok Is Beautiful” written on top (another gift, but Wooseok didn’t remember from who). Actually, Wooseok was feeling a bit embarrassed. His room was a mess, but it’s not like he had expected that turn of events.

«My room is small and not as nice as yours, but…» Wooseok mumbled, and he didn’t even know why he was feeling like he had to justify himself for his messy room. Seungyoun turned around to look at Wooseok, smiling fondly.

«It’s okay. It has your scent and everything in here tells me something about you. I like it,» he said, making Wooseok feel all sort of things. Maybe, and just maybe… after all… he was _a bit_ in love. 

They kissed again and undressed each other slowly, taking their time. Wooseok’s fingertips slid on the outlines of Seungyoun’s tattoos. Damn, he loved them so much. Wearing only their underwear, they lied on bed, kissing and touching. They were both so hard that Wooseok was physically hurting. His body could never forget what Seungyoun made him feel every time they had sex, how their bodies fit perfectly together, how Seungyoun knew exactly where to touch and grab and lick and suck and bite to drive him completely insane. Always at the right pace, always different, always perfect. he couldn’t hold in his desire anymore, and he knew that for Seungyoun it was the same judging by his expression. The one of a predator ready to devour him. Wooseok loved that face more than anything else and he had missed it so fucking much.

Seungyoun opened Wooseok’s legs firmly and placed himself between them, and Wooseok was already sighing in anticipation. Seungyoun started to move his pelvis against Wooseok’s, their hard dicks rocking together, first slowly and then faster and faster, roughly. Wooseok’s desperate moans were dying against Seungyoun’s lips, pressed down on his. When they were close to come, Seungyoun freed their cocks from their underwear and took both of them in his hand, stroking fast. They came together; Wooseok could feel the muscles in his legs tremble because of the strength of his orgasm. Just when Wooseok was desperately trying to catch his breath and come down from the high, Seungyoun’s lips peppering kisses all over his face and neck, he heard the front door of the apartment being unlocked and some steps and noises. One of his roommates had returned home. Just in time, apparently.

After that, the two of them just hugged each other, exchanging sweet and chaste kisses. That moment reminded Wooseok of that night, after his grandma’s funeral ceremony, when he and Seungyoun had slept together in each other’s arms, with Seungyoun’s hand caressing sweetly Wooseok’s hair and making his headache disappear. He wondered if he hadn’t started to secretly develop feelings for Seungyoun since that night. He wondered when Seungyoun had realized to like him, too. He promised himself to ask Seungyoun about it the next day. 

Wrapped in Seungyoun’s arms, lulled by his warmth and scent, Wooseok fell in a deep dreamless sleep, like he had not done in months.

*******

Yohan woke up that morning, Christmas day, knowing that there was a fourth person in their apartment. That pair of unknown shoes and that extra jacket abandoned at the entrance of the apartment were an obvious sign that his suspicions were well-founded. He didn’t know who it was, though. Junho was awake, too, and he was alone. When, over breakfast, Yohan shared with his younger roommate his suspicions that an intruder was among them, Junho just shrugged, and said that Wooseok probably had brought home some random dude. Yohan found it weird, though, because Wooseok never let people sleep in his bed after sex, and just a few days earlier he had stated that he didn’t want to see anyone because he liked Seungyoun. 

Yohan sighed, pensively, and just when he was about to put a piece of fried egg in his mouth, he looked up and saw that none but _The_ Cho Seungyoun had made his apparition in their living room. His hair was a bit ruffled and he definitely looked like someone who had just woken up. 

«Uhm… good morning and merry Christmas,» Seungyoun politely greeted the other two, who were now staring at Seungyoun completely still. Well, that for sure was shocking and unexpected. The piece of egg that Yohan was about to eat fell from his chopsticks back in the bowl, while Junho almost chocked on his hangover soup.

«Wooseokie is still sleeping deeply and I don’t want to wake him up. I’ve used your bathroom a moment, I hope it’s not a problem,» Seungyoun continued hesitantly after a few seconds of silence, and only then Yohan’s brain reactivated.

«Hyung! Merry Christmas! Of course it’s not a problem at all! Sit down and have breakfast with us!» Yohan exclaimed, smiling happily (damn, he really wanted to know what was going on). He was about to get up to get a bowl of rice and some kimchi for Seungyoun, too, when the latter quickly declined.

«Ah, thank you very much, Yohanie, but I’m going home now to take a shower and change my clothes. I’ve left a message for Wooseokie, but still could you tell him to call me when he wakes up, please?»

Yohan and Junho just stared at Seungyoun for another while. So Seungyoun had spent the night in Wooseok’s bed. That could mean just a thing.

«So now you guys are… like… _together_?» Yohan decided to ask and Seungyoun’s smile in that moment spoke more than a million words. «Yeah. I guess we are.»

«What about Seungwoo-hyung, though?» Junho kept asking.

«Actually… Seungwoo-hyung and I weren’t really together. We were just letting you guys believe that,» Seungyoun admitted, a small apologetic smile on his lips, and then he bowed his head as he added, «I’m really sorry.»

«Ah, I knew it,» Yohan whined, frustrated, dropping his chopsticks on the table. Now everything made perfect sense. He had never thought to have a sixth sense, but apparently he actually had it, and it worked pretty well, too. «You couldn’t be with someone else when you love Wooseokie-hyung that much. I started to have suspicions during Hangyul’s birthday party and I got confirmation of it when I saw you at the hospital,» Yohan explained and even Junho nodded his head knowingly.

«I also thought it was very odd,» Junho agreed, before getting up from the chair and standing in front of Seungyoun with a very serious face.

«Seungyounie-hyung. I really like you and I’ve always rooted for you, but if you dare to make Wooseokie-hyung suffer again, you’re dead meat,» Junho stated, looking right into Seungyoun’s eyes. 

«Yeah. I’m sorry,» Seungyoun answered with formal speech, as if Junho was the hyung between the two of them, making Yohan snort loudly.

After Christmas, New Year came, and after that the Lunar New Year came, too, and Yohan was pleasantly surprised to see Wooseok a lot more relaxed and happy than usual. He was also glad to see Seungyoun a lot more often, since Wooseok at times invited him over for dinner, and they hung out at the same pubs in Itaewon, too.

Things between Wooseok and Seungyoun seemed to go smoothly, in Yohan’s opinion. They kissed a lot. Hugged a lot. Held hands a lot. At least when they were home, not really when they were outside, because Wooseok was still Wooseok and he didn’t like to be overly affectionate in public. Still, just the way they looked and smiled at each other and the casual touching was obvious enough. The old Wooseok would have considered it “disgusting” and “unnecessary”, probably. Yohan was glad that the new Wooseok didn’t seem to care about his cold façade anymore, and he was a lot more open about his feelings, too. Yohan found almost heart fluttering the way Wooseok would refer to Seungyoun as “boyfriend”.

Spring came around as well, and Yohan was drinking his banana milk peacefully when Wooseok walked inside the kitchen and announced, «Seungyounie and I are leaving for a vacation next month.»

«Really? A vacation? Where?» 

«Disneyland.»

«What?!»

Things had really changed a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... it's over. lol  
> I had fun writing this, so I hope you liked it, too. I wanted to add more smut, more scenes, but the chapter was already long enough without them, sadly. So, if you'd like that, I can add an extra chapter/epilogue with some smut and some domestic Seungseok. Please let me know in the comments if you'd like a short extra "what happens next?" chapter, eheh.  
> AND!!! I sincerely want to apologize to all of you who had great expectations on the "mystery boy" from the coffee shop (Siwoo, he's just a random OC). I know some of you hoped that he'd become Wooseok's true love, but... Seungseok is my otp, ahahah. I hope you aren't disappointed, though. :(  
> Again, thank you so much for reading so far and for all the comments and kudos! I really appreciated them!  
> See you soon!


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